There are billions and billions of reasons to hate McDonald's. They took the McRib away, for one, and that burns. (Sometimes I almost wish I'd never loved it at all.) There's at least one good reason to like McDonald's: They're being boycotted by the American Family Association. What did McDonald's...

An AP-Yahoo News poll revealed that pet owners favor McCain over Obama 42 percent to 37 percent, with dog owners particularly barking and lifting their legs at Obama, who, unlike the Republican candidate, does not own a pet. Pet owners appear to feel more admiration for other pet...

Since our current UN is ineffective, I propose assembling a mock UN to solve the world's most pressing issues. I will be Canada, because everyone likes me but no one wants to take the time to actually get to know me. (I have nice "mountains" and "lakes," but you don't...

With Iraq insisting on a timtable for withdrawing our troops, I feel kind of like "the man who came to dinner." Of course, in that play, the host wasn't the dinner. What happened to when they stand up, we'll stand down? Did they suddenly learn to stand up?...

Hey guys, jump on the train because we're heading to a new shoe-macracy where free trade means never having to go without horrible plastic shoes again. At least, that's where we're heading if John McCain has anything to say about it:

With less air to breathe, Obama is advised to avoid lengthy rhetorical flights and sudden bursts of oxygen-depleting enthusiasm DENVER, Co. (Sportsman's Daily Wire Service) -- Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama will make his acceptance speech on August 28, 2008 at Invesco...

While the rest of the world's leaders discussed issues of grave importance, George W. Bush asked Dmitry A. Medvedev of Russia to, "smell my finger." No reports yet on whether Medvedev took Bush up on his offer.

WASHINGTON, D.C.(Steveyoungonpolitics.com) - In a break with tradition, and in an attempt to counter Barack Obama's announcement to accept the Democratic presidential nomination at Denver's 76,000 seat Invesco Field at Mile High, John McCain will accept the Republican presidential nomination on the Robert Street Bridge, a reinforced concrete multiple-arch bridge...

According to CNN, Barack Obama is considering accepting his nomination at Invesco Field. But because of weather concerns, that may not happen. Boo. Of course, there is an alternative: Barack Obama accepts his nomination at the Tecmo Bowl. Barack's already a lot like Tecmo Bowl's Bo...

WASHINGTON - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said today that Democrats in the Senate will do their best from now on not to "make any noise or otherwise disturb hardworking Senate Republicans." The pledge comes after several Senate Republicans complained about Democrats voicing opinions and otherwise making noise on...

Drunk on Havana Club at the Hotel Arts in Barcelona. Heart still pounding. Breathing in life. Almost screwed the pooch off the coast of Costa Brava. Kayaking with the Fam. The Mediterranean's teeth bit down. Our 11-year-old bobbing dot too close to the rocks. Capsized with our 9-year-old son. A...

John McCain released a paper today claiming that he will balance the budget through "savings from victory in Iraq and Afghanistan," which is the same as saying, "I'm not going to balance the budget," or, "hey, look over there!" and then running out of the room. I must...

The July 4th weekend almost demands that we reflect on what it means to be an American, and my first observation is we are surely not created as equals. There are those born to poverty and those born to privilege. While they both have the same freedom of speech,...

OK, I know all of you progressives hate Bush, but when you look at what a turd John Kerry continues to be, you have to, deep in your heart of hearts, in your intellectual honesty, when you lay your head down on the pillow at night and offer...

It's here! In a move designed to avoid loss of market share to its main rival as a result of the much-ballyhooed roll-out of Grand Theft Auto IV, Xianity Fantasy Games has just released the newest version of its best-selling game, Grand Theft Jesus. At the stroke of...

Recently, presidential candidate Ron Paul dropped out of the race, disappointing many libertarians. But what's even sadder to me is the grounding of another libertarian candidate, one who stood for everything Dr. Paul did...and yet always flew higher. I am, of course, talking about the Ron Paul...

Florida's bachelor Governor Charlie Crist is getting married, and to a woman, too. That's how badly he wants to be vice president. I hope John McCain is happy now. I hope Crist isn't making a mistake by trying too hard. Men don't want anything they can get...

You would have thought that once Barack Obama started wearing the U.S. flag pin, all of those nasty rumors about his supposed lack of patriotism (whatever that means) would go away. But the idiotic rantings of ignorant people continue to circulate across the Internet. What else should he do to...