September 5, 2008 - Sure, the Republican National Convention was shortened by a day, but three days is still a lot to handle. Here's the whole thing in a minute to help you catch up if you missed it.
USA!! USA!! USA!!
Previously...
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September 5, 2008 - "Deus lo volt, bitches!"
Apoplectic Republicans
Swore jihad on cosmopolites
Who drink lattes of hell
Jihad, too, on matters
Edumacational:
U-S-A!, they believe,
Is all you should spell...
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September 5, 2008 - Oh, Sarah. A week ago, we didn't know who you were, and now we cannot live without you.
Isn't this how forbidden love is supposed to feel? So wrong that it can only be...
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September 5, 2008 - Liberal Media:
With all their love of Palin's paint-by-(hateful)-numbers speech.
Communists.
Pretty in Puke:
Cindy McCain's...
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September 5, 2008 - From the ashes of a mid life crisis and broken marriage, her true self (a "Do," naturally) has risen. Getting dumped burns like hell. To cheer her up, her Home Depot loving female frie...
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September 4, 2008 - Folks, we're worried for John McCain, worried that he might be putting his life on the line to win this election.
This Sarah Palin pick is being praised by the right for energizing the conservative base, the same conservatives who have always hated McCain, and vice-versa. James Dobson...
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September 4, 2008 - Okay, confession time. We don't know crap about Republicans. So we sent Eugene Mirman to go find some, show em a good time, get em a little drunk, then MAKE EM TALK! Turns out, they're just like us (except abominable...
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September 4, 2008 - Greetings, Internet!
Now, as many of you know, I like to take some R&R every August in the Midwest with my cousin Glen. Ah, the Midwest. Fried foods, great accents and suspenders EVERYWHERE! This year was going to be hard to top after last year's Quad City Bender...
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September 3, 2008 - Tonight, all of America gets to meet Levi Johnston, the 18-year-old who knocked up his classmate, 17-year-old Bristol Palin. What do we know about this stud, besides that he reminds of our ex-brother-in-law? Well, he's a hockey-player, a high school dropout...
September 3, 2008 - Tonight's the big night! No, we're not talking about Sarah Palin's speech. It's the RNC appearance everyone has been waiting for. Levi Johnston, he of the red-hued neck and triumphant underage spermatozoa, will be appearing...
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September 3, 2008 - Former Democratic vice-presidential candidate Joe Lieberman spoke last night at the Republican national convention. Speaking of Democratic nominee Barack Obama, Lieberman said:
Eloquence is no substitute for a record- not in these tough times for America.
John McCain was r...
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September 2, 2008 - 1. "After 8 years, I know what it takes to be president"
2. His "beautiful wife" Cindy
3. "Fully qualified"
4. From the "great state" of Alaska
5. "So he called for more troops, and now we're winning"
6...
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September 2, 2008 - What do we know about Sarah Palin? We know she loves her kids, her guns, and the guts of wild beasts, not necessarily in that order. But if there's one place to find out about the real Sarah Palin, it's at the RNC. And if there's one...
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