Hannah Montana

From The Room: What the Hell Is a Minka Kelly?

May 12, 2008 - The new, special, double issue of People magazine arrived at my door (yes, I get it delivered; and yes, I have the depth of skillet). Much to my delight, it's the World's 100 Most Beautiful issue! Imagine...

From The Room: It's All Graydon Carter's Fault

May 2, 2008 - Almost a week has passed, but like most good people, I'm still outraged. And shocked! I still can't believe such a thing could happen. I mean, how could you, Miley Cyrus...

The Winehouse Vortex

May 2, 2008 - Consider: the epicenter of today's great tabloid fodder is Amy "Slag Heap" Winehouse. The scabby soul siren consistently delivers. This week alone, she got a...

From The Room: Tila Tequila, Role Model to Miley Cyrus

April 30, 2008 - It didn't take long for all kinds of celebutards to weigh in on the Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair photo "controversy." Everyone from Rosie O'Donnell to those rocket scientists on The Hills to DISGRASIA...

Miley Cyrus photo backlash: someday, we'll look back on this and masturbate

April 30, 2008 - The unsatisfying Miley Cyrus non-scandal continues. Apparently, her parents are "mortified" by the semi-nude shots of their superstar daughter, Miley (aka Hannah Montana) taken after they...

If they IM'd: Miley Cyrus and Ashley Alexandra Dupre

April 29, 2008 - Looks like Miley Cyrus isn't the only one who was "exploited" after willfully taking off her clothes in front of a camera. Eliot Spitzer's favorite lady, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, crept back into the sp...

What will you tell your kids about Miley Cyrus?

April 29, 2008 - Now that the world has been turned on its head thanks to Miley Cyrus and her filthy, filthy bedsheet, it's time for the news media to tell parents how to talk to their kids again...

From The Feed: Miley Cyrus' Vanity Fair spread (video)

April 28, 2008 - "The Today Show" covers Miley Cyrus' scandalous pictures in Vanity Fair...

The autobiography of Miley Cyrus

April 21, 2008 - Renaissance sculptor Benvenuto Cellini wrote at the start of his 16th century autobiography, "No matter what sort he is, everyone who has to his credit what are or really seem great achievements, if he cares for truth and goodness, ought to write the story of his own life in his...

From The Room: The Wrong Cyrus

January 25, 2008 - According to various news sources, a Louisiana boy planned on hijacking a commercial jetliner and crashing it into a Hannah Montana concert. The teen was apprehended with handcuffs, rope...

News Odds for Thursday, January 17, 2008

January 17, 2008 - Odds that... The stimulus measures Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke really supports are half a Viagra and a copy of Playboy: 4-1 When Dr. Phil hears that...

From The Room: An Easy Solution to the Upcoming Recession

January 10, 2008 - It worries me that we've got a recession coming, and we don't actually make anything anymore. We don't produce anything! Think about it: What do Americans make nowadays? Tiny dogs, Red Bull and vodka vomit, YouTube videos of a guy playing the national anthem with his ass...

From The Room: My Hannah Montana

January 3, 2008 - What would you do to secure tickets to see Hannah Montana in concert? Would you murder a kitten? Would you poison a group of feisty nuns? Or would you write an essay posing as your 6-year-old daughter outlining how your daddy died in Iraq, describing how it makes...