David Paterson Lieutenant Governor

None of My Friends Has Spent Public Money on a Sexual Dalliance

March 25, 2008 - Whether it was justifying loyalty to an inflammatory pastor, erroneously claiming to have been dodging sniper fire upon arriving in Bosnia or the ever-popular act of committing adultery, our poli...

David Paterson has something to tell you

March 25, 2008 - If it's Wednesday, that must mean a new revelation by new New York Governor David Paterson. First, there was the fact that he'd had an affair. Then, the revelation that he'd had multiple affairs. Then, that one of those affairs was with a state employee who is...

The 23/6 Great American Tryst-Off

March 18, 2008 - The last two weeks have been a sweat-drenched, sore-genitaled paradise for political junkies, horny TGI Friday's patrons, and the New York Legislature's watercooler chitchat. First, New York Governor...

NY Gov Swears Not to See Prostitutes, or Anything Else

March 17, 2008 - The legally blind David Paterson was sworn in today with the promise of never visiting a prostitute. This is a huge relief for Democrats who think that paying for sex is too Free Market. I'm excited about having a blind black leader like Star Trek's Geordi La Forge...

New York Vice

March 12, 2008 - ...

Behind Every Great Man

March 12, 2008 - Behind every great man there's a great woman. And behind every cheating public figure, there is a spouse who gets wheeled out to show that she's, um, standing behind her man in his time of moral frailty. This united front is intended to comfort us, the masses, that...

Dinner Parties Expand to Accommodate the Late Breaking News

March 12, 2008 - They're attributing our current fatigue to having just moved our clocks ahead, but my thesis is we're all staying up later as dinner parties stretch out to cover the wide range of topics unfolding on what feels like an hourly basis. Over drinks and appetizers in the living...

David Paterson: who the hell is he?

March 12, 2008 - New York governor Eliot Spitzer has finally resigned because he put his peepee in some hos, and...

Eliot Spitzer leaves his resignation on the dresser

March 12, 2008 - This morning, Eliot Spitzer announced his resignation as governor of New York, effective Monday, in the wake of "unspecified personal indiscretions"—a euphemism destined to become the "wardrobe malfunction" of 2008. But just because a prostitution scandal is forcing Spitzer to step down in dis...

Finally, A Truly "Hands On" Governor

March 12, 2008 - Eliot Spitzer went beyond the call of duty, we've all discovered, and was truly hands on in his investigation of prostitution. He was caught on tape making a date with a prostitute working for Emperors Club VIP, where he wasn't called "Eliot" or "El" or even "Governor Spitzer...

Spitzer-Paterson Ad

March 11, 2008 - Yay, it's an Eliot Spitzer-David Paterson campaign ad from 2006...