I Want To Be Number Two:
Chuck Hagel: anti-war Republican, Libra and penis owner

A VP candidate with the cajones to give Petraeus the middle seat

On his junior year abroad trip to the Mideast, Barack Obama is being trailed not only by three network anchors, but by Republican Senator Chuck Hagel. This has led many to speculate that this means Hagel is on the short list to be Obama's VP pick. Other say that picking a Republican running mate would be too much, but that Hagel might be in line for Secretary of State or Defense. At the very least, they're totally going to stay in touch after they get back.

But the big question is: when the Republican Party is looking at a long time in the wilderness, do the Democrats really want to create a situation in which the GOP's only chance at the White House is if, you know, something should happen to Obama?

All the more reason to ask: just who is Chuck Hagel?

Current job: Senator from Nebraska

Age: 61

Astrological sign: Libra

A-hole factor (1-10): 4

Vibe: Vietnamey

Quick Bio:

• Born in Nebraska.
• Vietnam War.
• Wounded; medals.
• Congressional staffer.
• Veterans Administration.
• Co-founds mobile phone manufacturer.
• Millionaire.
• Investment banker.
• Senate.
• Votes for war.
• Turns against war.
• Announces retirement in 2008.
• Says "would have to consider" offer to be Obama VP.
• Goes to Iraq with Obama.

RGI (Regular Guyness Index): 5

• From Nebraska: +3
• Penis owner: +2
• Catholic high school: +1
• Polish ancestry: +1
• College graduate: -3
• From a non-Ivy League college (U. Nebraska at Omaha): +1
• Vietnam vet: +3
• Combat: +3
• Wife's name is "Lilibet": -1
• Multimillionaire: -3
• Lives in fancy suburb (McLean, Virginia): -2
• Wrote a book: -1
• Decided to go with "Chuck" instead of "Charles": +1

Pro:

Is a Republican who's against the war.

Con:

Other than stance on war, is a Republican.

Pro:

Makes the ticket seem more manly

Con:

But makes the top of the ticket seem less manly

Pro:

Was right about the war very early on.

Con:

Is still wrong on every other issue.

Pro:

Shows Obama can reach across the aisle.

Con:

The other side of the aisle has people like Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani in it.

Pro:

Seems down to earth.

Con:

Potential "President Chuck"?

Odd fact: He and his brother saved each other's lives in combat during the Vietnam War.

Hotness to Opposite Sex (1-10): 7

Hotness to Same Sex (1-10): 8

Disaster possibility (1 - 10 Quayles): 7 Quayles.

Odds of being chosen: 8 - 1.

Thank you

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"For Obama, a First Step Is Not a Misstep" - NYT