July 22, 2008
Election 2008

I Want To Be Number Two:
Chuck Hagel: anti-war Republican, Libra and penis owner


A VP candidate with the cajones to give Petraeus the middle seat

On his junior year abroad trip to the Mideast, Barack Obama is being trailed not only by three network anchors, but by Republican Senator Chuck Hagel. This has led many to speculate that this means Hagel is on the short list to be Obama's VP pick. Other say that picking a Republican running mate would be too much, but that Hagel might be in line for Secretary of State or Defense. At the very least, they're totally going to stay in touch after they get back.

But the big question is: when the Republican Party is looking at a long time in the wilderness, do the Democrats really want to create a situation in which the GOP's only chance at the White House is if, you know, something should happen to Obama?

All the more reason to ask: just who is Chuck Hagel?

Current job: Senator from Nebraska


Age: 61


Astrological sign: Libra


A-hole factor (1-10): 4


Vibe: Vietnamey


Quick Bio:

  • Born in Nebraska.
  • Vietnam War.
  • Wounded; medals.
  • Congressional staffer.
  • Veterans Administration.
  • Co-founds mobile phone manufacturer.
  • Millionaire.
  • Investment banker.
  • Senate.
  • Votes for war.
  • Turns against war.
  • Announces retirement in 2008.
  • Says "would have to consider" offer to be Obama VP.
  • Goes to Iraq with Obama.


RGI (Regular Guyness Index): 5

  • From Nebraska: +3
  • Penis owner: +2
  • Catholic high school: +1
  • Polish ancestry: +1
  • College graduate: -3
  • From a non-Ivy League college (U. Nebraska at Omaha): +1
  • Vietnam vet: +3
  • Combat: +3
  • Wife's name is "Lilibet": -1
  • Multimillionaire: -3
  • Lives in fancy suburb (McLean, Virginia): -2
  • Wrote a book: -1
  • Decided to go with "Chuck" instead of "Charles": +1


Pro:

Is a Republican who's against the war.

Con:

Other than stance on war, is a Republican.


Pro:

Makes the ticket seem more manly

Con:

But makes the top of the ticket seem less manly


Pro:

Was right about the war very early on.

Con:

Is still wrong on every other issue.


Pro:

Shows Obama can reach across the aisle.

Con:

The other side of the aisle has people like Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani in it.


Pro:

Seems down to earth.

Con:

Potential "President Chuck"?


Odd fact: He and his brother saved each other's lives in combat during the Vietnam War.


Hotness to Opposite Sex (1-10): 7


Hotness to Same Sex (1-10):
8


Disaster possibility (1 - 10 Quayles): 7 Quayles.


Odds of being chosen: 8 - 1.

Posted by: Stephen Sherrill      I’m a fan of Stephen Sherrill
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Comments (3)
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anghiari
posted 12:01 pm on 07/24/2008
See profile | I'm a fan of anghiari
Whomever thought that Hagel would make Obama look less manly needs glasses!. just watched Obama on his Middle East Tour and hadn't realized how tall he is or how Less tall so many of the leaders in the Middle East are...he looks mucho presidential to me. All you need to do is see Obama standing between Reed and Hagel with his arms on their shoulders standing above them. But all that mano a mano nonsense is what got us into the Iraq mess. Dumb and Dumber(bush and cheney) who weren't going to be found near real military fighting are hardly real men in any sense of the phrase. Obama has the brains, the open-ness and enough political acumen to move America's agenda be it international or domestic!

adzeman
posted 4:25 pm on 07/23/2008
See profile | I'm a fan of adzeman
Queen of Hearts, Chuck.

hdatup
posted 2:13 pm on 07/23/2008
See profile | I'm a fan of hdatup
Why would the Democrats want a Republican as the President of the Senate with a tying vote?
Chuck Hagel won an election in a surprise victory. The voting machine used in the election was made by his company. This should have been investigated but Democrats never really want to enforce laws or look for problems. They prefer to let the Republicans run the show without fear of prosecution.


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