June 13, 2008

The brave soldiers of Obama's Internet War Room

Barack Obama has set up an internet "War Room" to correct online rumors about the candidate. According to the Times Online, the "crack team of cybernauts will form a rapid response internet 'war room' to track and respond aggressively to online rumors that Barack Obama is unpatriotic and a Muslim."

Who are these intrepid "cybernauts" marching into battle. Meet a few of Barack's web-soldiers below:

Web ID: PimpBizk8
Real name: Leopold Bizkin
Internet military expertise: Youtube comment combatting.
Recent battles: Flame war with Happyhatah69beeeatch over comment that "Obama sux tha muslim gonadz. reprasent!" Lethal blow: "U sux it more. hAHAHAHAH!"

Web ID: LonelyGirl14andahalf
Real name: Jenny Bader
Internet military expertise: Flirtatious jailbait
Recent Battles: Convinced a middle aged Myspace "friend" to stop blogging anti-Obama vitriol in exchange for photos from the Cape May beach vacation she is taking in July with her parents



Web ID:
BushGottaGo
Real Name: Lynn Cheltenham
Internet military expertise: Posting furiously indignant and occasionally relevant comments to every single story ever published on the Huffington Post.
Recent Battles: In response to a story about McCain saying he supports the troops more than Obama, posted the comment: "He should be thrown in Guantanamo for war crimes along with George 'Adolf' Bush and Dick 'Goebbels' Cheney." Received numerous "nice ones" and six track-backs.

Web ID: CondeNaughty
Real Name: Jennyfer Guinn-Leiman
Internet Military Expertise: Employing two years experience as a Gawker commenter to tell people all across the web that they suck in an ill-informed yet almost witty manner
Recent Battles: In response to a Foxnews.com story about Rev. Wright, posted the comment, "Speaking as a junior copy editor at Bon Appetit magazine, this was laaaame and it also made me throw up in my mouth a little. More Julia Allison!"

Posted by: Bob Powers      I’m a fan of Bob Powers
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