Obama: Where the [angry, older, kinda racist] white women at?

The election is finally over. As Democratic House and Senate leaders said in a joint statement, "Democrats must now turn our full attention to the general election." Yeah, but what about that person over there, the crazy lady in the corner? It's hard to turn your attention somewhere else when she's over there throwing things at you.

Hillary Clinton is expected to concede on Saturday, and in what the New York Times calls a "delicate dance," Obama now has to figure out how to deal with Hillary...not to mention the several million older white women Hillary has driven out their minds by making them think the presidential election somehow could, and must, make up for every slight they've ever suffered at home and at work.

So what can Obama do to unify the party? How is he going to win these women over? Our suggestions....