May 29, 2008

Airlines preparing for gay summer skies


Get ready for the fiercest flight ever!

With the announcement that New York will recognize gay marriages performed elsewhere, it is expected that many New York gay couples will flock to California this summer to marry, and then flock right back to New York to get some long-awaited marital benefits back home. How are airlines preparing?

  • Charging $25 check-in fee for each case of sparkling rosé

  • Buying earplugs in anticipation of entire aircraft lisping "Here comes the bride" every time a passenger walks down the aisle to the bathroom

  • Confiscating amyl nitrate canisters in excess of 3 ounces

  • Replacing seatback copies of "Skymall" with copies of "Details"

  • Posting "single-occupancy only" signs on bathroom doors

  • Programming seatback TVs to broadcast Bravo on every channel

  • Stocking beverage cart with Tartini ingredients

  • Preparing for non-stop catty criticism of flight attendant uniforms

  • Just painting rainbows all over the damn plane

Posted by: Bob Powers      I’m a fan of Bob Powers
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