Election 2008

Barack Obama reached a milestone Tuesday by capturing a majority of pledged delegates. What other, less publicized milestones have we reached by now?

• 12,549 - number of times John McCain has addressed a crowd of indifferent octogenarians as "my friends"


• 9,539 - number of complaints Bill Clinton has lodged that Obama is successful only because he was born with the advantage of being a black man in America


• 7,676 - number of times "Yes we can" has been chanted before it became officially co-opted by ironic cynics and turned into parodic YouTube videos


• 6,843 - number of free passes granted to Michelle Obama by the media


• 6,259 - number of Oregonians who meant to vote for Obama but were waylaid by a new batch of kind bud that just bloomed


• 5,935 - number of shudders down the spine Hillary Clinton has sent daily with her attempts at human warmth


• 5,393 - number of hack political operatives who have gotten work out of this debacle


• 4,389 - number of hack TV pundits who have gotten work out of this debacle


• 3,985 - number of hack comedians who have gotten work out of this debacle


• 3,624 - number of times George W. Bush has had to ask his staff, "Who's that black fella with the weird name tryna get my job?"


• 3,624 - number of times Bush's staff has urged Bush not to give Obama an easier-to-remember nickname


• 1,763 - number of 'Nam flashbacks McCain has had during speeches at elementary schools


• 33 - number of voters who remember who Duncan Hunter is


• 16 - number of people who still respect George Stephanopolous


• 11 - number of newspaper articles about Afghanistan (since campaign began)


• 9 - number of Americans who have any direct influence over this election (including Supreme Court Justices)


• 0 - number of Iraqis who have any direct influence over this election

Posted by: Teddy Wayne      I’m a fan of Teddy Wayne