Media

The West Virginia primary is over, but what does it all mean? For that, of course, a nation turns to Maureen Dowd. Her political insight and analysis has proven invaluable during past elections, and we expect no less from her with this one.

There's a war on, we're in a recession, the housing market is collapsing and people need healthcare—so clearly you're reading the one person who keeps her eye on the important issues in this election.

But how well are you reading your Dowd? Test yourself with the 23/6 Reader's Guide to Maureen Dowd's Column.

1. Dowd entitled her column "Raspberry for Barry." Why did she do this?

Answer: "Barry" was a nickname for Barack Obama when he was younger. It is often used by right-wingers, racists, and xenophobes to imply that because Obama, as an adult, decided to go by "Barack" instead of his childhood nickname, he is somehow trying to "pass" as black and is not as in touch with what it is to be black as, for instance, Maureen Dowd, right-wingers, racists and xenophobes. They are justified in this because, obviously, everyone in adulthood goes by their childhood nicknames except inauthentic people who hate America.

Also, Dowd chose "raspberry" because Obama lost in West Virginia, and "raspberry" and "Barry" rhyme. Rhymes like this are extremely funny and satisfying and are considered the hallmark of very good writers.

2. Dowd says that Hillary Clinton was "mining" antipathy. Why did she use this word?

Answer: Because West Virginia is noted for it mining industry. So because West Virginia is under discussion, Dowd says that Clinton was "mining." In the writing profession this is known as "sparkling wordplay." (c.f. Dorothy Parker and S.J. Perlman.)

3. True or False: in paragraph three, Dowd's use of "John McBush" is hilarious.

Answer: True.

4. In paragraph four, why does Dowd say that "Obama is acting the diffident debutante?"

a) It is highly enjoyable to read two words in a row that begin with the same letter.

b) The conventional wisdom take on Obama by members of the Washington media is that he is, unlike them, an elite.

c) It is considered good writing to adopt the conventional wisdom take and repeat it unquestioningly.

d) In the run up to every general election, Maureen Dowd will imply that the Democratic nominee is effeminate, and thereby help to elect the GOP nominee whose claims to be tough she will credulously believe, and only roughly 18 months into the latter's administration will she realize that the election was, in fact, more than just a proxy for her sexual fantasies, and then she will begin attacking the Republican president, leading liberals who don't read her enough to believe that "Maureen Dowd is great!"

Answer: all of the above.

5. In paragraph six, Dowd writes: "Obama may have started the primary season with an inspiring win in 94-percent-white Iowa, but he is winding it up with a resounding loss in 94-percent-white West Virginia."

What is device called?

a) Antiphon

b) Insight

c) Sing-song

d) Analysis

Answer: a) and c)

6. What does this paragraph mean?

Answer: nothing.

7. Using your new knowledge of this exciting technique, complete the following example as Dowd would complete it:

"Just as Bush is in a war, there is a war in _____ ."

Answer: Bush.

8. Why does Dowd do this?

Answer: She think it's cute.

9. Dowd calls President Bush "W." Why?

Answer: When a writer wants to appear funny and sassy, one shortcut he or she can use is to employ diminutive nicknames.

10. True or False: such nicknames maintain their freshness even after several years and many thousands of instances of usage.

Answer: Very, very true.

Funtime activity for later: find a friend, and then call him or her by a silly nickname, like their first initial. For instance, let's say your friend's name is "Dave." Call him D. Did you do it? Congratulations! You could be a columnist at The New York Times.

11. Dowd gives the last third of the column over to the analysis of Charlie Peters, former editor of the Washington Monthly. Why?

Answer: You try doing a column twice a week. Sometimes, maybe many times...okay, maybe all time, you've actually got nothing to say. But you do have something almost just as good: a phone. Or at least your assistant does.

Posted by: 236.com staff      I’m a fan of 236.com staff