Inappropriate Hottie Rundown: Potential Democratic VPs

Teehee, New Mexico governor Bill Richardson will knock your calcetines off! This swoonworthy former diplomat courted his future wife in high school by leaving a sombrero on her doorstep, which means he'll probably cry during sex, then ask you to pray with him afterwards. Don't be surprised if he clutches a rose in his teeth while convincing you he'll help court the Latino vote. He's un hombre grande, so be sure to get on top, and keep some ointment handy for the beard burn.
3 out of 4 heartbeats away from the presidency

Kathleen Sibelius is here! This Kansan silver fox was being groomed for a power position in the Democratic Party, but then bored the nation to death during her January post-State of the Union rebuttal. She should've brought this fiery, leather-clad, vaguely dykey mojo to her speech! This bipartisan babe's dad is former Ohio governor John J. Gilligan, so don't ask her "who's your daddy?" unless you want to talk public policy. Anybody who can run Kansas without killing themselves when creationists try to take over the schools deserves...
4 out of 4 heartbeats away from the presidency

Peek-a-boo, Ted Strickland sees you! The governor of Ohio likes to watch, so don't be surprised when he hands you a MapQuest printout and keys to a curtainless suite at the Columbus Marriott. He's got one of the highest approval and lowest disapproval rates in Ohio gubernatorial history, which means you'll be screaming, "YES!" as somebody does you against a tree while he looks on from behind a bush. He's an aficionado of chunky gold jewelry, so start toughening up those nips for piercing, stat.
2.5 out of 4 heartbeats away from the presidency

YEEOW! Meet U.S. Senator Joe Biden of Delaware. This merry Irish-Catholic GILF's preppy style can't hide his devil-may-care streak. He chairs the committee on Foreign Relations, so try "negotiating" with him wearing only a burqa! He once called Barack Obama "clean and articulate," so maybe he's not smoothest operator, but at least he's appreciative. Trying to get busy with toddlers around can be a turnoff, but the commitment to alternative transportation is sexy as hell. He can splash around in our "Water Gap" anytime!
4 out of 4 heartbeats away from the presidency

Twiddle your knobs and tune in to Arizona governor Janet Napolitano! Love the Susan Sontag-ish white hair streak and hypnotizing brown eyes. She's said she's not a lesbian, but even so, there might be a few Melissa Etheridge CDs just out of frame. This Italian-Mom-ish cutie's intriguingly unpredictable: she'd just as soon bake you a lasagna as stick the National Guard on the Mexican border! She was Anita Hill's lawyer during Clarence Thomas's confirmation hearing, though, so don't even think about putting a pubic hair on her Coke can.
2 out of 4 heartbeats away from the presidency

Rugged Montana governor Brian Schweitzer is a former agronomist who specialized in irrigation, so he knows how to get things wet! He brings his border collie, "Jag," to his office at the Capitol, so maybe if you beg, he'll give you a treat (and he's into doggy-style, natch). His stocky physique and ranch experience mean he'll be able to tie you up and "brand you" quicker than you can say "Yee-haw!" Alas, he probably thinks his bolo tie looks snazzy, but on the upside, it looks like he knows how to run a meth lab.
3 out of 4 heartbeats away from the presidency

Dive into the charms of retired Army General Wesley Clark! A military man in uniform is always a turn-on, but a hardbodied half-naked one's even better. How steamy would it be to ogle this silver fox's medals while roleplaying as a grateful post-NATO-invasion Albanian Kosovar, calling him "Supreme Allied Commander"? Just don't get him started on John Kerry (major buzzkill). Warning: He's hyperdisciplined, so if you're flabby, he'll probaby make you do like 1000 situps before hooking up. It'll be worth it, though.
4 out of 4 heartbeats away from the presidency