Entertainment

Wednesday is the opening of the 61st annual Cannes Film Festival in the South of France. French people, movies, sun, sand, red carpet and snails.

Just what goes on for 12 days at the world's premiere showcase for foreign films? Walk past the velvet ropes and look no further than our FAQ: Cannes Film Festival.

Everyone's talking about "can." "Can" this, "can" that. Well, you know what? I can't. How about that?

"Can" what? What are you talking about? And who's everyone?

People. Important film people.

I think you mean "Cannes."

Right, that's what I said. Can.

It's pronounced "Cannes."

You do realize this is a written FAQ, right? I can't hear your precious European pronunciation.

Okay. It's pronounced "kaahn."

Got it. Like Genghis Khan?

Yes, but without the Genghis. Cannes is a small town in the South of France.

And it got its name because of the hot French women who show their cans? Am I right?

In your twisted imagination, yes. But in reality, you're wrong. The town used to be known as Canua in the 10th century.

Thanks, Wikipedia. Why is it in the news now?

The Cannes Film Festival is underway there. It kicked off Wednesday, May 14.

Cool, a festival. Like the Burning Man Festival.

If Burning Man were held in France and wasn't attended solely by dreadlocked hipsters, and it showed films instead of garbage pretending to be art installations, and it had a history as one of the world's most renown film festivals, then yes, it's exactly like Burning Man.

Awesome. Burning Man rules!

It's nothing like Burning Man.

Whoa, pretty hostile. Was your FAQ: Cubist Installation rejected by the Burning Man planning committee?

Can we get back to it? Anyway, the Cannes Film Festival began as a showcase of quality foreign films, mainly art films. It became somewhat Hollywoodized. But it still shows many art house films by fairly well-known foreign directors.

What's an art house film?

The kind you never watch.

Oh, sorry, Anthony Lane. Forgive me if I like my movies in English, Anyway, I watch foreign films.

Name one.

I'm thinking... Oh, I got one. "Speed Racer," made by the Polish filmmakers Andy and Larry Wachowski.

They were born in Chicago.

Yeah, but in the Little Poland district.

Anyway, as the Cannes festival became more and more prominent in the 1980s and 1990s, Hollywood took notice and now the festival has taken on a bit of a deal-making, Hollywood suck-up vibe.

Sounds a lot like Sundance.

Now you're getting it.

So what's the deal this year?

New films by such directors as Atom Egoyan, Steven Soderbergh, Wim Wenders, and Charlie Kaufman will be screened in competition.

Cool! Competition is awesome. Two directors enter, one director leaves! So, what is it, like, ultimate cage match, or what?

They're movies. The directors vie for the coveted Palme d'Or.

A palm door? That sucks.

Can I get back to my FAQ: Cubist Installation now? The Burning Man guys said I had a good shot this year.

Posted by: David Bourgeois and Jason Reich