May 12, 2008

Quick Quiz: Hillary Clinton

Paul Slansky has some questions about the failed presidential candidate who's not polarizing anymore, she's unifying - everybody hates her now.

1) Who is Mo Elleithee?

The campaign aide who, after the campaign was caught planting questions for audience members to ask Hillary Clinton, said, "It's not something we do. It's not an official campaign policy. But it is now an official campaign policy that we will not do this moving forward."

The campaign aide who fed Hillary Clinton the excruciatingly lame debate line, "Maybe we should ask Barack if he's comfortable and needs another pillow."

The campaign aide who fed Hillary Clinton the wince-inducing debate line, "[That's] not change you can believe in, it's change you can Xerox."

2) True or false? When Hillary Clinton's autobiography, Living History, was published in 2003, Sean Hannity told her, "If they sell a million copies of this book, I'll eat my shoes and my tie. I will."

True. And it did, and he did.

False. It was that bow-tied dweeb Tucker Carlson who said it, and of course - despite that emphatic extra "I will" - devoured neither.

3) Which of these events occurred in March of 2007?

A reporter questioned Hillary Clinton about her flip-flopping on the issue of driver's licenses for illegal aliens, and she replied Freudian-slippingly, "[Governors] should not be making immigration policy. The federal government should be making immigration policy, and that's what I'm going to try to do as president again." [Italics mine.]

Hillary Clinton told the Bosnia sniper fire story for the first time, apparently ignorant of the existence of a little something called videotape. And it's not like it happened in some other country and she got them mixed up, either. It never happened anywhere.

Hillary Clinton delivered a speech in a Selma church in which she periodically lapsed into a hilarious forced southern accent and said things like, "Ah don't feel no ways tired. Ah come too far from where I started from. Nobody told me that the road would be easy. Ah don't believe He brought me this far to leave me," though, in fact, He did.