April 21, 2008
International

The Pope at the U.N.: hello, is this thing on?


Please, hold my penis. I mean, your applause.

Pope Benedict XVI, the spiritual head of the Catholic Church, improbably skipped the "Sex and the City" tour Friday morning in New York, opting to deliver a speech at the United Nations General Assembly instead (dumb). His Holiness implored world leaders to defend human rights and advocated collective intervention to prevent genocide. In other words, the Holy Father must have forgotten he was at the U.N.

The Pope must be glad he's not one of those robed people the U.N. hates, but not everything out of his mouth could have been welcomed by the world's most notoriously careful diplomatic body...

What was the Pope's least-well-received remark at the U.N.?

I'm very sorry you were all raped. Crap, wrong speech.

Heil. I mean, Hi.

They let women in here?

The breeze in here feels incredible on my bottom.

Stop clinging to guns and blaming illegal immigrants for everything. Er...

Anybody wanna check out "88 Minutes" this weekend?

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