Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture": Jealous? Make your own

Randy Pausch's Last Lecture is extraordinary. You, maybe not so much.

"Tuesdays with Morrie"/Slashdot fans, rejoice: Randy Pausch, the computer science professor battling pancreatic cancer, is publishing his exuberantly inspirational Last Lecture, about really living out your childhood dreams, as a book. Since giving his talk seven months ago, it's become a worldwide sensation with attention from Oprah and Diane Sawyer. He's exceeded his short life expectancy, and realized another childhood dream by practicing with the Steelers (while you ate Combos and masturbated).

The Last Lecture tradition is the university equivalent of a Desert Island show, where top academics give a hypothetical final talk, based on the wisdom they'd try to impart if they knew it was their last chance. Pausch, sadly, had to take the opportunity all too literally. But wait until every pompous idiot realizes America's insatiable hunger for inspirational advice and tries to copycat his success with a Last Lecture of their own. To help them out, we've created the 23/6 Last Lecture-o-Tron.

Remember, let us show our . They are there to separate us from the who don't really want to . Don't . The best are at the bottom of the . When you do the right thing, stuff has a way of . your. It can be just one who tells you what you need to hear. The hard part is . Be good at . It makes you more valuable.

I'm not , but Randy Pausch's Last Lecture at Carnegie-Mellon might make them think, ""

That's why I hope you always remember today's talk about my, enabling dreams, and some lessons . If you lead your life the right way, the will take care of itself. The dreams will come to .