Business

Just in time for the chaotic travel season, airlines began canceling flights at the end of March due to mechanical difficulties and a new round of inspections. The inspections are expected to continue through May.

Just what the hell is going on in the skies these days? Well, it would seem that fewer planes are flying in them. Before you take your mistress on a romantic beach excursion on American Airlines, you'd better first check out our FAQ: flight cancellations.

Whoa, I was flipping through the channels and I saw, like, a few thousand people hanging around at the airport. Thanksgiving is sure a busy time to fly.

Great. Here we go. It's April.

Hey, don't italicize at me. I'm not stupid. I just thought I was watching file footage of crowded airports in November.

Those sentence are incongruous.

I don't appreciate your anti-Semitism. What does the fact that I'm Jewish have to do with anything?

Pal, let me tell you, today is not the day you want to push it with me. It wasn't file footage from Thanksgiving. You saw thousands of people at airports because of the current flight cancellations.

It couldn't be all bad. I hear airports have Cinnabons in them, and who can't find something cool at Hudson News? I go to one near my bus station. Oh, one thing. What's a flight cancellation anyway?

You've never been on a plane, have you?

Oh, look at you, big world traveler. Let me tell you something, Mister Frommer's Guide to Everything Cool in the World, when I was six I went with my mom and dad to visit my grandpa in Sarasota. I remember 'cause we got stuck in the smoking section. I wish they'd get rid of that. It's annoying.

They did get rid of it, like 20 years ago, you insufferable—

Hey, chill. I'm sorry. You seem totally stressed—more so than usual. Sounds like you're in serious need of a vacation. Why don't you take some "me" time?

Funny you should mention that. I had plans to go to Cancun yesterday but my flight was cancelled.

Due to Thanksgiving?

Dude.

Seriously. What happened?

I had a flight on American Airlines, but when I went to the airport, they told me they had to take the plane out of service to check it.

Check it for what?

The government has mandated that the MD-80, a type of aircraft, must be checked for potentially faulty wiring. The wiring in question is near the fuel tank.

Oh, so if a spark hits a fuel tank, there could be one serious explosion. That sounds awesome!

Yes. It would also kill hundreds of people.

What happens when you're booked on a flight, then it's cancelled?

You get pissed off and angry at the idiotic ticket counter person.

And then?

You get rebooked on a different flight at a much later time, like THE NEXT DAY in my case. Man, these motherf——GOD, I HATE THESE PEOPLE!

Wow, you are angry. You should think about taking a vacation.

If it means never having to do another FAQ, I'm willing to take my chances with the faulty wiring.

Posted by: David Bourgeois      I’m a fan of David Bourgeois