Australia's "Daily Telegraph" reported today that a South Australian father and daughter had a baby together. Reportedly, John and Jenny Jeeves reunited thirty years after John divorced Jenny's mother. Two weeks after fate helped these star-crossed immediate family members find each other again, they went ahead and had daddy-daughter sex. They now have a 9-month-old daughter together, improbably named Celeste.

Hot on the heels of the Pregnant Man, Eliot Spitzer, Whoopi Goldberg kissing Joy Behar on the View, and that dude who got caught humping a picnic table, this latest milestone in F'd up behavior is in danger of getting lost in the cesspool.

To prevent such a tragedy from happening, 23/6 peeked through our fingers to rank these apocalypse-signaling events according to our extremely accurate Skeeve-O-Meter:

Governor Spitzer: While banging hookers is somewhat skeevey in itself, one of Spitzer's girls was at least kind of attractive. Maybe not "model hot," but definitely "hooker hot." Another of the Spitzer hookers, however, looked like if "she" got pregnant it would get "her" a segment on Oprah. Ultimately though, the skeeviest thing about the Spitzer hooker scandal is that Governor Spitzer was involved.

Whoopi Goldberg kissing Joy Behar on The View: We were not warned, dammit! It's not that it was girl-on-girl (boring) or black-on-white (yawn), it was VIEW-ON-VIEW for God's sake! The skeeviest part of this sneak attack kiss was that it occurred during a remembrance of the recently deceased Charlton Heston.

Pregnant Man: If only that were the name of the world's lamest superhero. Thomas Beatie is a transgender man who chose to keep his reproductive organs. He got pregnant via donor sperm, and now he can't stop talking about it through his prepubescent smattering of facial hair. This whole thing raises big questions that we're not going to ask because we don't want to look at that shirtless photo again. He looks like a 14-year-old boy with Philip Seymour Hoffman's belly after hitting a 25 cent wings night.

The Incest Family: Let's just run through the quotes, shall we:

• "I was looking at him, sort of going, oh, he's not too bad. Like you might look at a man across the bar at a nightclub."
• "Mr Deaves admitted that he 'initially' thought having sex with his daughter was wrong."
• "I knew it was illegal, of course I knew it was illegal but you know, so what."
• "For Mr Deaves the sexual relationship was 'absolutely fantastic.'"

And finally,

• "a South Australian police media spokesman said 'the couple is being monitored.'"

To the South Australian policeman on "monitoring duty," go with God.

That Dude Who Got Caught Humping a Picnic Table: Congrats, buddy. Buying whores, kissing Joy Behar, calling yourself a pregnant man even though you have a uterus inside your body...it's all hack compared to you, Arthur Price, Jr. You had sex with a picnic table before anyone even knew that was a "thing." Everyone's done it outdoors, but you actually did it with an Outdoor Set from Ikea. From here on in, every time a lawn chair gets creeped out because some dude looked at it twice, it'll have Arthur Price, Jr. to thank.

"Australia incest pair in TV plea" - BBC News
"Incest couple had another child" - Sydney Morning Herald