When we think of Easter, we think of hidden eggs, baby chick-shaped candy, and enormous human-sized rabbits breaking into our homes to leave gift baskets. However, there's a lot more to this two thousand year-old religious holiday than pastel sweaters and toxic Easter egg dye. Why is this particular Sunday so important that millions of pseudo-Christians have chosen it as one of only two days each year they attend church services? Well, because it's the day Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Yup, rose from the dead. And no, he wasn't a zombie. Though that would have been awesome.

In honor of Jesus' amazing, literally death-defying feat, 23/6 takes a look back at all the other long-dead things that have miraculously managed to come back to life in the twelve months since last Easter in The Year in Resurrections.

JOHN MCCAIN'S PRESIDENTIAL RUN

By the end of summer 2007, John McCain was slipping in the polls, and his political career was D.O.A. But then something miraculous happened. Republican voters got creeped out by Mitt Romney's Mormon plasticity, turned against Mike Huckabee's folksy refusal to believe in science, and grew completely unaware of Rudy Giuliani, who was trying to become the first politician ever to win a campaign without actually campaigning. Suddenly, Big Mac had risen from the political grave and found himself the Republican nominee for president. The irony, of course, is that McCain was actually alive during Jesus' resurrection, BECAUSE HE IS OLD!

DOG FIGHTING

For most Americans, dog fighting had died as a sport about a century ago along with marbles, sandlot stickball, and bare-knuckle boxing. Yes, dogs were still forced to race each other around oval tracks and were still paraded in front of snooty Westminster judges, but the era of squaring them off against each other in a fenced-in ring was over. Until Atlanta Falcons quarterback and canine violence entrepreneur, Michael Vick brought it back to life last summer! And much like Christ dying to save us from our sins, Vick selflessly gave up his pro football career and his freedom so that the world may once again know the excitement of steroid-fueled pit bulls biting off each other's faces.

O.J. SIMPSON'S LIFE OF CRIME

O.J. Simpson's criminal career officially passed away on October 3rd, 1995 at 10:00am PST when Orenthal James was found "not guilty" by a jury of his peers. Simpson spent the next decade indulging in non-criminal pursuits like golf, searching for the real killers, and writing a detailed hypothetical account of exactly how he didn't murder his wife. Then last September, in a low rent version of "Ocean's 11," the Juice resurrected his criminal career and tried to pull off one last "big score" before retiring from crime. Sure, the "big score" only included sports memorabilia, which is not as exciting as a double homicide, but it's not like Jesus was out performing miracles all day as soon as he came back to life either.

SPICE GIRLS

Back in 1996 when the Spice Girls asked us to tell them what we want, what we really really want, we all replied "Please stop making your awful music." The Girls eventually took our advice and the "band" was soon dead, with its members moving on to exciting new projects such as riding the coattails of Eddie Murphy and David Beckham. But in June 2007, the Spice Girls held a press conference to announce they were coming back to life and launching a world tour, much like Christ, who didn't even have a publicist. Although Jesus also never charged $100 for nose-bleed seats to watch him lip sync his Sermon on the Mount.

IRAQ WAR

The Iraq War is back in a big way—speeches, anniversaries, escalating violence. In fact, Operation Iraqi Freedom is so alive at the moment that, we're starting to doubt "major combat operations" ever actually died back in 2003. So really, this isn't so much of a "resurrection" as it is "horribly sad and depressing."

Anyway, happy Easter!