February 08, 2008
International

Al-Qaeda looks into hiring pollster Frank Luntz

According to media reports al-Qaeda isn't as popular as it once was in the Mideast: Donations are dropping off and it just doesn't seem to be as cool as it once was to blow people up. Perhaps their recent attack where they used retarded women as suicide bombers was good foreshadowing of trouble to come.

There must be something this global organization can do to stem the tide of negative public sentiment.

What are some things al-Qaeda can do boost their sagging popularity in the Mideast?

Help elect a man named "Hussein" as president of the United States.

Buy (RED) suicide belts at the Gap.

Hire Britney Spears' "manager" Sam Lutfi.

Pose for Annie Leibovitz photo for cover of Vanity Fair's "Green Issue."

Spawn a cute child with a sexy actress and then overdose on a cocktail of prescription medications.

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