Odds that...

GOP frontrunner John McCain and his wife Cindy McCain are battling it out in a furiously intense victory hump: 4-1

GOP hopeful Mitt Romney's "day of frank discussions" is about whether Angelina really got pregnant to keep Brad: 3-1

Senate Banking Committee chairman Chris Dodd's "closed-door meeting" with Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke today involves a little rose, a little smooth jazz, and some light sexual touching: 5-1

Britney Spears' drug-peddling, restraining-ordered manager Sam Lufti is days away from bartending at Chili's: 2-1

Missy Elliott's fans name her new album "Pathetically Cheap": 1-1