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January 29, 2008
| Politics |
State of the Union quiz: WTF was Bush talking about?
Nancy Pelosi reads "Eat, Pray, Love," while Dick Cheney has a small stroke
What did we learn from the State of the Union speech? That Bush seems as happy as the rest of us that he won't be doing it again, that Barack and Ted are new best friends (the O'Bennedys?), and that Jenna claps like she's drunk. Sadly there were no mentions of going to Mars or "human-animal hybrids" like in past years.
For those that saw the whole speech, we can only say "we're sorry." But your knowledge isn't totally wasted. Try your hand at the 23/6 State of the Union quiz. The winner receives a date with their choice of Barbara or Jenna (we hear they're like human-animal hybrids after 14 tequilas).
23/6 State of the Union Quiz
Can you complete each sentence with Bush's actual words from the State of the Union address?
1) "Seven years have passed since I _____."
first stood before you at this rostrum
realized Iran and Iraq were separate countries
touched Laura 'south of the border'
2) "We believe that the most reliable guide for our country is _____."
Tom Cruise
the collective wisdom of ordinary citizens
the collective wisdom of the Olsen sisters
3) "If any bill that raises taxes reaches my desk, I will _____."
veto it
probably not notice
stop showering
4) "Our security, our prosperity, and our environment all require reducing our dependence on _____."
'The Secret'
oil
Judd Apatow
5) "I call on the Congress to pass legislation that bans unethical practices such as the buying, selling, patenting, or cloning of _____."
'The Bucket List'
human life
the Podhoreztes
6) "To protect America, we need to know who the _____ are talking to."
Scientologists
terrorists
Clintons
7) "The advance of liberty is opposed by terrorists and extremists--evil men who despise _____.""
liberty
freedom
Zach Braff
8) "With confidence in freedom's power and trust in the people, let us set forth to do their business. God bless America. _____ you all."
Thank
Bless
F
