Odds that...

Rudy Giuliani, praying he wins the GOP Florida primary today, promises God to be a better person—and God laughs: 2-1

Scientology leader David Muscavige's niece, who's backing the unauthorized biography of Tom Cruise, is the queen bee of Anonymous: 9-5

The judge who denied Foxy Brown's early jail release is offered free manicures everywhere she goes: 4-3

The Wall Street Journal's glossy new lifestyle magazine is simply called "Douchebag": 16-7

The "creative intervention" planned by Britney Spears' people involves a padded cell and a trail of Funyuns: 1-1