U.S.

With Rudy Giuliani's presidential bid crumbling like so much superheated iron and concrete, can it really still be said that Giuliani is "America's Mayor"? Not anymore. That title belongs to a vibrant leader, someone with a big heart. Someone who truly embodies the American ethos.

For example, a mayor with the leveraging power to throw an (allegedly) crazy stripper party in an electorate-designated mansion. Someone so in touch with the American dream that he leased his wife an SUV using taxpayer money. And during a budget crisis, no less? Now, that's American.

With this week's revelation of adulterous text messages bringing still more shameful American glory to the office of Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, 23/6 is proud to truly declare him the new America's Mayor. May the crown not rest too heavy on your ridiculous, amazing brow, sir.