Odds that...

New Hampshire's Democratic primary winner, Hillary Clinton, has to be talked out of crank calling Barack Obama and shouting "Burn burn burn, psych psych psych!": 4-1

Arizona senator John McCain, the GOP New Hampshire primary winner, celebrates this morning by "stumping" his wife Cindy: 8-5

Former Massachusetts governor/Republican contender Mitt Romney is so pissed about coming in second last night, he orders his engineering team to clean, polish, and re-hydraulicize his moving parts: 9-7

"Upholding the Constitution" is the new "Don't taze me, bro": 16-3

President George W. Bush's first-ever visit to the Middle East turns awkward today when he asks Israel's president Shimon Peres and Prime Minister Ehud Olmert if he's invited to their bar mitzvahs: 1-1