December 19, 2007

FAQ: CIA interrogation tapes


Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

The scandal surrounding the destruction of CIA interrogation tapes has now reached the White House. Though the administration has previously denied being involved, it turns out that four White House lawyers, including disgraced attorney general Alberto Gonzalez and Supreme Court Justice also-ran Harriet Miers, took part in discussions about whether to destroy the tapes. What did they know, when did they know it, and what were they trying to keep everyone else from knowing? Those answers and more in the 23/6 CIA Interrogations FAQ.

Q: What was on the tapes that were destroyed?

A: The tapes showed the 2002 interrogation of two al-Qaeda suspects, Abu Zubaydah and Abd al-Rahim al-Nahiri.

Q: With names like that, they have to be guilty of something, am I right? What about Barack Obama? Is he on the tapes?

A: No.

Q: Maybe they should interrogate him, because I heard he's moslim.

A: It's Muslim, and he's not.

Q: So what's the big deal about the missing videos? All they did was ask the guys a couple a questions, right? Let me guess, he totally confessed and now we don't have it on tape.

A: Actually, the tapes showed harsh interrogation techniques, thought to include waterboarding.

Q: And what happened to them?

A: They were destroyed in 2005

Q: So they're not on YouTube?

A: No.

Q: Come on. Everything's on YouTube. Have you seen those otters holding hands? OMG.

A: They're not on YouTube, trust me. The tapes were destroyed in the country where they were being kept, on the orders of Jose Rodriguez, then the chief of the CIA's clandestine branch.

Q: If we can't watch them, why are they in the news?

A: On Dec. 6, the New York Times told the Bush administration it planned to publish an article about the tapes and the CIA director Michael Hayden admitted their existence, though he claimed that key members of Congress had been told of their destruction. They dispute Hayden's claim.

Q: Who really cares if they were destroyed? My girlfriend recorded over the Pats-Jets game but I didn't make a federal case out of it.

A: Some claim that it amounts to obstruction of justice, because the tapes were not turned over to the 9/11 commission, and there are conflicting accounts of whether the White House was involved. It is known that four White House lawyers took part in discussions about whether to destroy the tapes.

Q: Which ones?

A: David Addington, Alberto Gonzales, John Bellinger and Harriet Miers.

Q: She's the lesbian right?

A: Sure.

Q: So what's next for the tapes?

A: There's a hearing set for Friday by a federal judge over whether the tapes' destruction violated an order to preserve all evidence relating to a Guantanamo lawsuit brought by 14 Yemenis, an Algerian and a Pakistani.

Q: Sounds like the pretty good start to a joke.

A: Such as...

Q: Okay, so, 14 Yemenis, an Algerian and a Pakistani walk into a bar...and...

A: Yeah?

Q: Like, um get interrogated...uh, like, harshly...and...

A: And?

Q: Stuff.

A: It needs work.

Right Now
Fourth of July Special: The Year in Grilling Americans agree: black folks know their barbecue McCain campaign taken over by...Steve...Who? The World's Worst PR Guy spins for Wesley Clark

Detroit Octane: "The Making of Obama-sistible"

Get a backstage pass to Detroit Octane's creative process.

More