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December 13, 2007
Do you know more about Mitt Romney's crazy cult than Mike Huckabee?
Ask us about where the Indians came from!
In an article to be published in Sunday's New York Times Magazine, Mike Huckabee says that he believes Mormonism is a religion but doesn't know much about it (which is how we feel about "The Wire.") But Huckabee goes on to ask, "Don't Mormons believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?"
Noted Mormon Mitt Romney was outraged, saying that Huckabee was "going too far."
So how much do you know about Mormonism? Sure, we've all heard about the secret underpants and the requirement to have lots of white children, but what about the lesser known beliefs? Test your knowledge with the 23/6 Mormon beliefs quiz.
23/6 Mormon Beliefs Quiz
What's your Mormonism IQ? To find out, pick the actual Mormon belief on each topic.
1) JESUS'S SIBLINGS
Jesus's half brother was Lucifer.
Jesus's half-sister was Heather Mills.
Like Elvis, Jesus had a fraternal twin who died at birth.
Jesus's brother drowned during an attempted water-walking stunt.
2) YOU GO TO SPIRIT PRISON...
When you watch "The Hills."
When you liveblog "The Hills."
After death, before Judgment.
If you're Lynne Cheney, and Dick starts undoing his belt.
3) AMERICAN INDIANS COME FROM...
Siberia.
Israel.
Casinos.
A bar, usually.
4) ANGEL MORONI IS...
An angel that visited Joseph Smith in western New York.
An angel that touched Joseph Smith "down there."
A very thin pasta, also known as "capellini."
My doorman.
5) HOW WAS JESUS CONCEIVED?
Joseph had sex with Mary.
God had sex with Mary.
The three wise men had sex with Mary.
Mary masturbated really hard.
6) UNTIL 1978, MORMONS DID NOT ALLOW BLACKS TO...
Be ordained.
Be an Osmond.
Enter Utah.
Enter Tagg.
7) BEING BLACK IS PUNISHMENT FOR...
Not being white.
Touching Tagg.
The murder of Abel by Cain.
Arsenio Hall.
8) THE GOLDEN PLATES BECAME...
Madonna's ass.
Mitt's chin.
The Book of Mormon.
"Everything is Illuminated."
9) THE GOLDEN PLATES WERE WRITTEN IN...
Early English.
Early Izzle.
Reformed Egyptian.
Unreformed bullshit.
10) WHERE IS THE GARDEN OF EDEN?
Six Flags, Arlington.
Jackson County, Missouri.
Somewhere near Iraq.
Tagg's pants.
