Although President George W. Bush's administration has relegated the Palestinian-Israeli conflict to the back burner as of late, nothing better defines "legacy" than "peace talks," regardless of outcome.

To that end, the administration is sponsoring peace talks—beginning Tuesday in Annapolis, Md.—between Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, along with delegates from nearly 50 other countries and organizations.

What will they discuss? Who stands to gain what? What the hell? At least some of the answers can be found in our FAQ: Middle East peace talks.

Q: It seems like out of nowhere I'm reading about the Palestinian-Israeli peace talks. What's the deal with all this?

A: Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, along with other Arab nations and international envoys, are going to meet Tuesday in Annapolis, Md., to relaunch the peace process.

Q: Annapolis, Maryland?

A: The city's Aqua Terra restaurant is supposed to have great Japanese spiny lobster tail and sesame seared tuna.

Q: Didn't the Israelis and Palestinians try to reach an agreement, like, seven years ago?

A: Yes, the Middle East Peace Summit at Camp David of July 2000—it was an unsuccessful attempt to negotiate a "final status settlement" to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Q: Yeah, Clinton was kind of obsessed with getting those two sides to love each other. If he had only been as obsessed with loving his wife, am I right?

A: Hey, Dr. Phil, Bill and Hillary are still married.

Q: Okay, but it's kind of weird, right, that Bush is all of a sudden interested in peace in Middle East?

A: Bush has given the peace process lip service from time to time, with a clearly pro-Israel bias. He denounced Palestine Liberation Organization leader Yasser Arafat but did support the elections held in Palestine after Arafat's death. These latest talks can be seen as an attempt to restore U.S. credibility in the region. Remember, the Iraq War was the main focus of Bush's foreign policy.

Q: Thanks, I almost forgot about that. Just kidding. Why now?

A: One word: legacy. Restarting the peace process has been called the Hail Mary pass of presidential legacies.

Q: So does Bush really think the American people will remember his presidency in a favorable light if Israel and Palestine become BFF?

A: Stop asking so many speculative questions. I don't know what Bush thinks. I'm not in his head.

Q: Can I make a joke about that?

A: No.

Q: Okay, so where do we stand? What will be discussed at the talks in Annapolis?

A: Lots of complicated issues. Each side is looking for something: Palestinians want the Israelis to withdrawal from the West Bank. Israel wants the 1949 cease-fire line changed to include main West Bank settlements. Palestinians want east Jerusalem, including the Old City, as capital of their state. Israel has annexed east Jerusalem and is offering up control of some Arab neighborhoods.

Q: Ugh, sorry I asked. I have a headache now.

A: The bottom line is that Israel and Palestine will try to issue a joint statement, but it's looking unlikely. The Palestinians want it to address key issues of Palestinian statehood. Israel doesn't like that word statehood. They prefer to emphasize living "side by side."

Q: That term makes me think of two people sitting next to each other at a movie theater.

A: Yeah, two people who hate each other and fight incessantly during the movie.

Q: Ha! Totally! Nice to see that you're loosening up a bit and starting to enjoy these FAQs.

A: Don't push it.

Q: Sorry. One last thing. Why should I care about peace in the Mideast?

A: Well, two nation-states on the brink of war is never a good thing, no matter where they lie geographically.

Q: Wait, what about Iraq? We're still in a war there. Bush seems to think that's a good thing, right?

A: Look, I told you, I'm just the FAQ guy.

Posted by: David Bourgeois      I’m a fan of David Bourgeois