The Senate confirmed Michael Mukasey as attorney general Thursday night despite criticism from Democrats over his opinion on interrogation techniques—specifically Mukasey's waffling on whether or not pouring water up someone's nose to simulate drowning is, in fact, torture.

Though Mukasey's critics agree the Justice Department is in dire need of strong leadership, his statements on waterboarding quickly became the focal point of the nomination hearings. Of course, rendering judgments on whether a technique is or is not torture represents just a small part of the attorney general's responsibilities. On the occasion of Mukasey's confirmation, we revisit some other highlights from his testimony.

	IS WATERBOARDING TORTURE? "I think it would be irresponsible of me to discuss particular techniques with which I am not familiar. ...If it amounts to torture, then it's not constitutional."
	IS A BIG MAC JUNK FOOD? "It would be rash and reckless of me to attempt to characterize the nutritional value of that particular menu item, as I have not had a chance to familiarize myself with its ingredients. However, if it is junk food, it's not good for you."
	IS JESSICA BIEL HOT? "Estimation of attractiveness varies widely based on factors such as culture, race, gender, and individual preference, so any attempt to render a categorical judgment would be irresponsible and fatuous in the extreme. However, if she is hot, I would do her."
	DID GIGLI SUCK? "Aesthetic judgments vary greatly among reasonable people, and moreover are subject to revision with the passage of time, especially, as in this particular case, in light of the critically-acclaimed 'Gone Baby Gone,' directed by Ben Affleck, who may or may not be the lead actor in the film currently under consideration. Therefore it would be foolhardy for me to attempt to provide a definitive answer at this juncture. However, if it sucked, my wife and I hated it."
	IS JAMES CARVILLE BALD? "Absent a more thorough investigation of the follicles on Mr. Carville's scalp, I am afraid that I cannot state with the certainty required by this Committee that he does not simply have a very, very short haircut. However, if he is bald, I would remark that 'Jim Carrey called -- he wants his prosthetics from "The Mask" back.'"
	IS LARRY CRAIG GAY? "At this time, it would be premature for me to render a definitive judgment on that matter due to the complexities involved in extrapolating any person's psychosexual profile from one or more publicly-reported incidents. However, if he is gay, I would do him."
	IS THE POPE CATHOLIC? "So he claims. But twenty minutes on the waterboard and we'll know for sure."