November 05, 2007

TV about to get a little less "must-see"


Strike what you know.

With the writers' strike now in full swing, the remainder of this year's television schedule is up in the air. No one can say for sure if writers will be back to work in time to finish their incomplete scripts, and the networks are scrambling to come up with mid-season contingency plans, including a slew of unscripted reality programming.

But there's no reason to just let America's favorite series fall away. If network executives buckle down, surely they can do as good a job as any writer in generating an equally compelling, quality product.

The Office
Well-meaning but blundering boss Michael Scott tries to boost office morale by organizing a staff softball team. Widely considered to be the underdogs of the Scranton recreational league, they end up surprising everyone with a playoff spot. Cantankerous salesman Stanley Hudson wallops a stunning three-run homer with two outs at the bottom of the ninth to win the game. I mean, everyone loves the story of a sports underdog triumphing against all odds, right? Michael Scott is carried on the team's shoulders to a local Domino's Pizza where everyone shares the delicious new Crispy Melt Pizza ($9.99 Medium 1-Topping), and the family favorite Oreo Dessert Pizza (free with any large pizza at menu price.) Get the door, it's Domino's.

Grey's Anatomy
New episodes of ABC's popular "Grey's Anatomy" will actually be old episodes of ABC's formerly popular "Who's The Boss?", with Tony, Angela, Samantha and Mona digitally inserted into Seattle Grace Hospital.

Lost
After the heart-stopping drama of last year's season finale, the castaways wait with bated breath. Is a rescue team really coming, or is it something more sinister? And if it is a rescue team, will something terrible really happen, as Ben predicted, or was that just another manipulative bluff from the threatened tyrant? What is the smoke monster? These and numerous other mysterious questions will remain unanswered in light of some new discoveries. Viewers will be thrilled to learn that the island is very foggy, with a very mysterious, spooky fog...and there is a weird noise coming from somewhere that is so weird. What a mystery! And a gun goes off and someone is dead but who did it? Angela Lansbury guest stars.

Cavemen
Cancelled.

Heroes
In order to defeat the powerful serial killer Sylar, the Heroes organize an intramural softball team. Widely considered the underdogs, they make it all the way to the finals when Peter hits the ball into outer-space where it bounces off of an AT&T Wireless satellite, showing viewers how AT&T Wireless provides the largest coverage area in the United States, with fewer dropped calls. AT&T Wireless, the real heroes.

Right Now
Obama's success means <BR>OJ can finally rot in hellObama's success means
OJ can finally rot in hell
If they IM'd: Sarah Palin <BR>and Team McCainIf they IM'd: Sarah Palin and Team McCain Rich Lowry: The William F. Buckley of Fuck TalkFrom The Room: Rich Lowry: The William F. Buckley of Fuck Talk Here's looking at you, AmericaFrom The Feed: Here's looking at you, America