Although he is in second place among Republican presidential contenders, Fred Thompson is largely seen as disinterested and lethargic. The GOP hopes the candidate will emerge as Ronald Reagan 2.0, but Thompson seems to be shaping up as less of the "Great Communicator" Reagan and more of the "mildly opportunistic, self-satisfied former actor phoning it in for the benefit of his trophy wife" Reagan.

Still, in the grand tradition of televised political races, Thompon's uninspired performance could work for him in tonight's debate. Expectations are so low that even uttering the simplest of complete sentences could make him look like a genius. In fact, so little is demanded of Thompson, he could get away with any of the following mid-debate gaffes and still come out looking like Daniel Webster giving the "Reply to Hayne":

• Give all of his answers in pun-filled Law & Order sound bites
• Hire Britney Spears to babysit his two young children, Hayden Victoria (4) and Samuel (1)
• Refer to Barack Obama as "nappy-headed"
• Hire Shane Stant to walk onto the dais and break Rudy Giuliani's leg with a retractable metal baton
• Affect a wide stance in the men's bathroom during a commercial break
• Base his entire platform on a Geico commercial starring cavemen