Entertainment

On "Today", Meredith Vieira has no idea what to do with the psychosexual nightmare that is this group of faded hothouse flowers. The scene is so bizarrely excruciating, the producers dim the lights. But Joan Van Ark pwns everybody with her chicken-fried ay-uck-cent and frenzied leg-flails:

Move over, Sunset Boulevard, now there's something meatier.