We trawl the depths of television, the Internet, and commercial news feeds to bring you the best news clips along with all the other weird crap we find. We couldn't make this stuff up.

Arianna Huffington knows how to beat Obama (video)

At the Advertising Age Madison + Vine conference, Arianna Huffington delivered a three-minute speech on how she would run McCain's campaign:

Wow. Is Arianna Huffington aware that she just gave the McCain campaign about $3 million worth of advice? And really, we're not just saying this because she's our boss (maybe we are), but we love this shtick of hers; we're glad she's taking it on the road.

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McCain unsure if Obama's a Socialist—or Satanist for that matter (video)

In an interview with the Kansas City Star, John McCain talked about Obama's too liberal voting record:

So John McCain is now trotting out the old dead horse of GOP politics: the L-word (and no, we don't mean that lesbian-themed series on Showtime). Well, perhaps the reason we're able to judge Obama by his voting record is because he SHOWS UP IN THE SENATE TO VOTE, unlike McCain who has the distinction of being the #1 most absent member of the Senate.

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Jesse Jackson paved the way for Osama bin Laden (video)

Usually the Osama/Obama mix-up is regulated to first names but Dan Rather brings in the big guns, Osama's last name. From "Morning Joe":

And no one corrects him. Just let grampa keep talking. Tiki Barber probably didn't notice.

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Phil Gramm loves him some porn (video)

Phil Gramm, McCain's top economic adviser, has financed several soft-core films. From "Countdown with Keith Olbermann":

Phil Gramm makes money the old fashioned way, off the backs of scantily-clad women.

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McCain's tainted spokeswoman whines about Obama's media coverage

Fox News chats with some woman who claims to work for John McCain:

Oooh, now we remember who this woman is. She's Jill Hazelbaker, whose claim to fame is attacking New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez by gaming Wikipedia with multiple IP addresses.

Get used to hearing Fox News and other Republican outlets using the term "first-of-its-kind campaign rally overseas" to describe Obama's overseas trip. McCain's overseas trips, by the way, are usually fact-finding missions, since he's often confused about the Shias and Sunnis as well as the 16-year-old breakup of Czechoslovakia.

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