"Like Hansel and Gretel hoping to follow their bread crumbs out of the forest, the FBI sifted through customer data collected by San Francisco-area grocery stores in 2005 and 2006, hoping that sales records of Middle Eastern food would lead to Iranian terrorists.

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I'm Wes. This will be my second attempt at blogging and my first time writing here. I am a freelance contributor to The Onion, which is probably why I was invited here. I'm also a...