Ned Goldreyer

Bio

Cuba's Bold Path

Yielding to U.S. threats that he resign immediately or face the possibility of death from natural causes, 81-year-old Communist strongman Fidel Castro has stepped down. Acknowledging that America was fully committed to doing absolutely nothing to prevent the robustly ailing tyrant's life from ending of its own accord, the self-appointed...

Super Pets Last All Winter Long

With Thanksgiving finally off the books the real holidays can now bear down us with merciless speed, shoving ahead the shockwave of gift-giving induced panic that grows more bowel loosening with each day. Despite the hyper-abundance of choice (greater now than it was when you began reading this) finding a...

All the Rich Flavor With None of That Annoying Euphoria

The state of Nebraska wants to grow pot, or so congress would have us believe. What they really want to raise is industrial hemp, a plant that shares many, but not all, of its botanical features with marijuana. One of the things hemp does not have is, you guessed it,...

Six Easy Steps to Finding an Attorney General

Method of conclusively determining whether a nominee for office regards a particular practice as "torture."

Step 1. - Subject nominee to the practice under debate.
Step 2. - Ask if nominee believes he/she is being "tortured."
Step 3. - Note nominee's response.
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Eric Holder to be first racial milestone that no one cares about
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Obama on 60 Minutes in a Minute
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Michele Bachmann calls her own television appearance an "Urban Legend"
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