The past two weeks have seen the largest bank failures in American history, the destruction of financial legends, and the largest one day market drop in history, but there is a silver lining to be found in all this chaos. Your humble writer received a notification today of a new...

Being here in Minnesota for the RNC protests, it's easy to get discouraged when you see the police exercising almost limitless power over the demonstrators. But it's important to see the lighter side of things as well, which is why I present to you, LOLCops.

In what may be the least surprising news since "the sun rose this morning," a Bush appointed military court found Salim Hamdan guilty of providing material support to terrorists, proving once again that if you want something done right, ignore the constitution.

The verdict was in many ways...

John McCain finally launched an online outreach program to allow his 10 computer-literate supporters to find the nearest sausage house he will be speaking at and ask their grandkids to drive them there. This increases his chances of winning by 100% from 0% to 0%. Though...

For the second time in two days, presidential candidate and current affairs guru John McCain has referenced "Czechoslovakia" in a contemporary context. That country hasn't existed by that name for 15 years. Here are some of our predictions for how this historical place will keep popping up in...

The crowd roars as Obama takes the stage in a local town hall somewhere in middle America, where people know their neighbors, and the word "value" still means something other than a goddamn dollar sign. He is in rare form: eloquent, poised, truly transcendent. He addresses the roaring crowd.

Obama:...

John McCain released a paper today claiming that he will balance the budget through "savings from victory in Iraq and Afghanistan," which is the same as saying, "I'm not going to balance the budget," or, "hey, look over there!" and then running out of the room. I must...

Yesterday afternoon the Fox News Channel intelligently referred to Michelle Obama as Barack Obama's "baby mama." Now, I'm sure some on the left are going to get all up in arms about the use of this sexist, racially-insensitive term, but I see it as a positive step in...

Brilliant scientist and Elitist Lefty Jew, Albert Einstein, wrote that belief in God is "childish superstition" and said that Jews were not the chosen people, according to a letter being sold by Bloomsbury Auctions. This letter, written in 1954, proves once and for all that scientists are...

Albert Hofmann, the Swiss scientist who created LSD--not to be confused with Abbie Hoffman, anarchist, member of the Chicago 7, and frequent LSD user--died Tuesday at the age of 102. He was living in his hometown of Basel, Switzerland, and, one can only assume, tripping balls at the...