Pakistan -- Top al Qaeda strategists are accusing major terror networks of repeatedly referring to Osama bin Laden as "Obama" in underground emails and comments. Some popular terror personalities have even referred to him as "Osama Hussein bin Laden," though that is not his middle name.

...

5:30 a.m. Wake up alarm music: Your Body Is a Wonderland.

5:31 a.m. Sitting in skivvies, give phone interview to NPR, in role of witty, disarming conservative pundit.

6 a.m. Arrange comb-over.

7 a.m. Breakfast with Paul Krugman, listening to insufferable crap about Nobel Prize.

8 a.m. Cardio workout,...

Once upon a midnight dryly, while I pondered Bill O'Reilly,
Raging o'er The New York Times, their leftist crimes, in times, unsure.
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
Like some rapper, loudly yapping, rapping to his latest score.
"'Tis some liberal,' I...

Thanks to our man, George W. Bush, the Saudis say they'll help! America, be thankful that you elected a president with important friends. Because of George W. Bush, the Saudis have decided to consider working on maybe bringing down the cost of oil.
Last month, the president...

I know an Old Party that swallowed a war,
Don't know what for, they swallowed the war.
Nobody's sure.

I know an Old Party that had a Decider,
A fighter, uniter, and NOT a divider!
They followed the Decider,
That swallowed the...

"To protect my family, I want the 'waterboarding' option included among presidential powers."
- Fox News Channel host Bill O'Reilly

SECTION 1. LONG TITLE. This Act may be cited as the`Defending America Through TV's Jack Bauer Confession Techniques Anti-Terrorism Act of 2008.'

SECTION. 2. ESTABLISHMENT OF...

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the White House line that day:
Approval stood at 31, with 10 more months to play.
The war was still continuing, the housing bubble burst,
And when people saw the President, they often hollered, "Worst!"

The media was circling, hurling pointed sticks...

On the 18th of March in the town of D.C.,
On the White House gymnasium's Stairmaster 3,
He was deep in his exercise, sweating out sweat,
When Dubya's keen instincts detected a threat.

He heard a small squeak, like a voice in a dream.
"It's Iraq!"...