"I spent the past five years in a big ole sand trap, my short game should be ready by 2009," the president joked to a stunned press corps.

WASHINGTON, DC (Sportsman's Daily Wire Service) George W. Bush claims that the August 19, 2003 bombing of the UN headquarters in Baghdad, which killed the world body's top official in Iraq, Sergio Vieira de Mello, prompted him to quit golf--an act of not insignificant sacrifice to a president who thoroughly enjoyed deferring the start of a business day with a brisk eighteen holes.

"I liked it, looked forward to it," said the president. "Cleared my head first thing. Particularly when I'd play with my dad, we'd do a round under 60 minutes. That's the thing about being commander-in-chief--you can play through wherever and whenever the hell you please."

The UN bombing changed everything, moving the president to seriously contemplate making a meaningful sacrifice.

"I remember when de Mello, who was at the UN, got killed in Baghdad as a result of these murderers taking this good man's life. And I was playing golf. I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal," the U.S. president said in an interview for Yahoo! and Politico magazine.

Mr. Bush's last round of golf as president dates back to October 13, 2003, according to CBS news.

"Ah, can't resist your little game of gotcha. OK, I'll admit, it wasn't a snap decision, I got in a few rounds before shutting it down. I was on a tear, my putter was on fire for weeks it seemed. It was the damnedest thing. I remember thinking, heck, if only I could read national intelligence reports or the mind of the Iraqi people like I could read greens..."

The president insists he hasn't picked up a club in all the time since, and he's itching to get out on the links once his term is up.

"It's not like I been just sittin' around lettin' the grass grow," said the president, a bit testily. "I watch the Golf Channel religiously and been making mental notes --particularly on the take-away, which is where my swings starts to mess up. By the time Dubai rolls around, I'll be ready to go. I've been studying satellite readings of the course--lots of protected greens, so I'll have to stay out of the sand. I'm usually better at finding the sand than getting out of it."