Mr. Leeland Eisenberg recently engaged in a five-hour liberation of Hillary Clinton's campaign offices. After threatening blow up everyone in the vicinity (in the vein of our proud history of liberations), Mr. Eisenburg requested an audience with Mrs. Clinton to talk about health care. Mental health care, to be precise.

Now, I'm not sure how well-versed Mr. Eisenburg is in politics, but most experts agree that when holding people hostage during an election based on national security, adopting the modus operandi of Al Qaeda rarely leads to productive results. But the real question is: why Hillary?

For starters, he was at the ass-end of a two-day drinking binge. This might explain his first demand as hostage-taker: cigarettes, Pepsi and alcohol. Whatever masterful negotiator was involved decided to deny Eisenberg not only alcohol, but Pepsi as well.

But perhaps there is more forethought to this choice than meets the eye. It isn't hard to see why Eisenberg would avoid the Huckabee and Romney camps; he was already paid for clergy sexual abuse in a 2003 settlement with the Catholic Archdiocese (Remember: when in a Roman, do as the Romans do).

He probably realized that the Obama crowd was a bit more up on pop culture. If any of Mrs. Clinton's staff had ever watched the movie Tommy Boy, they would have noticed that Mr. Eisenberg's bomb consisted of flares and duct-tape. Granted, it was easier to spot on Chris Farley.

Gravel would have just told Eisenburg to go sit-and-spin, and Ron Paul would let Eisenburg kill everyone in the office as long as the American military didn't intervene. I would assume some sense of kinship spirit influenced Eisenburg to not annoy Rudy Giuliani, and everyone knows you can't get to Fred Thompson without first going through Sam Waterson (and possibly the corpse of Jerry Orbach).

Eisenburg must have avoided Tom Tancredo and Duncan Hunter because he knew they were both much, much crazier than him. Dennis Kucinich might have conceded more, which goes to show that Eisenburg had at least had some idea of who had a snowball's chance in hell of winning.

Whether or not Eisenburg supports Hillary, he has gifted her with the perfect opportunity to show her ability to react to national security threats. A sort of pre-primary fire-drill. The recreation of a suicide bomb will translate in the minds of Americans as the exact situation a candidate would face against not just any terrorist threat, but distinctively Al-Qaeda-style tactics. It is worth noting that Eisenburg had a hostage call CNN three times during the incident. He continually said that "something's got to change. Ordinary people need help." Mark Penn couldn't have put it better himself.