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Grow Up, America |
Presidents have legacies no matter what their original platform was during their campaign for the White House. No matter what promises were made to the American people, most of us will only remember a president for events that happened during the time they held office.
George Washington was the first president. That's all I know. You may be a political prodigy, and you might even know his legislative track record, but most people only know him as the "I cannot tell a lie" guy. Lincoln is the "freed the slaves and shot in the head guy." Truman was the Atom bomb guy. Harrison, Cleveland, Arthur, McKinley, Buchanan are the "who the fuck is these dudes?" guys. They may have accomplished something during their term, but I would have to do extensive Google research to figure out what it was. Jimmy Carter was the Iran hostage's guy, and Bush One and Bush Two are the war guys.
"What's my point," you ask? My point is, you should vote for a black guy or a woman for president. Shit, you might as well. What difference would it make? They both come in with a built-in legacy. One is a black guy, and the other is a woman. Those particular aspects give them a predetermined spots in history. don't give a shit if Obama cures AIDS, and makes Mexico the 51st state; he is forever going to be known as the first black president. Same goes for Hillary. She can be the first president to welcome the aliens from the Independence Day movie to earth. She is going to be known as the first chick commander and chief. Just like Geena Davis in that shitty ABC show.
So with the pressure off both of them to supply themselves with a historic value, maybe they could actually spend a good amount of their time being progressive and doing relevant things. I don't know what those things are, and I don't care either. Just get me a different face than ye old white dudes. God damn, even white folks must be a little bored with seeing men who look like they should be wearing white wigs running the country. How bad could Hillary or Barack be? What will they do? Pass laws like the "all men must sit down to pee bill," or legalize "white baby cooking?" Grow up America. Let's just vote for either one of them just to see how it goes. Fuck it. Are you saying that a black man or a woman would really, really, fuck this country up that much more in four years than it already is?
Why don't you (you meaning white people) take this as an opportunity to groom a better old white guy for 2012? Cause if you feel better having a President fuckin' Huckabee, rather than a colored guy, you are just unreasonable.
Vote somebody else in 2008. I have had to look at a Jesus that resembles Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High my whole life. So vote someone else as a symbol for the country other than the Uncle Sam-faced gentleman.
Take your special someone for a different type of Valentine's Day treat at "My Dirty, Sexy Valentine" show on February 14 & 15. Tickets are $20.00 and are available by calling Stand-Up New York at 212-595-0850. For more information on Patrice Oneal please visit www.patriceoneal.com











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