It's an ever-evolving political landscape. And for Joe Liberal, that means the days of leaflet distribution and door-to-door voter registration are passé.

Intelligent arguments? Reasoned discourse? Tried it. Doesn't work. Look where it got Dukakis!

New campaign strategies have emerged for the everyday free thinker. So if you want to get your liberal candidate elected, try the following:

1. Twitter to your friends in ALL CAPS decrying the IGNORANCE OF THE MASSES.

Righteous indignation is the first step to victory.

2. Change the names of conservative opponents to demonstrate how evil-slash-crazy-slash-dumb they are.

It's easier than you think--all you need is imagination and Photoshop. Here are some funnies to share with your friends.

3. Blame a right-wing conspiracy. When your candidate falls behind in the polls, don't assume the conservative's message is resonating with voters. Instead, accuse someone of a fix! Cook up your own devil or choose from one of these:

o Rupert Murdoch
o Gun-toting bitches
o Fat-cat bankers in fancy suits
o Kelsey Grammar
o Oil barons who hate Mexicans and shoot baby seals (or vice-versa)

4. Order swag from moveon.org. Buttons, shirts, Michael Moore DVDs! Some people might not know what you're thinking, so dress the part.

5. As in previous elections, if all else fails, panic.