Fed Reserve chairman Ben S. Bernanke is a student of the Great Depression so when he says "the Lehman Brothers could really use $700 billion," it's best to listen to the man.

But what about the rest of us--the ones who aren't students of the Great Depression? Let's turn to a master, Charlie Chaplin, for handy tips on surviving our current economic downturn.




1. Faced with a loss? Hide behind authorities. Whether you're squaring off against a heavyweight champion or billions in ill-advised mortgages, no one likes to take it on the chin. Find the nearest authority figure (any old referee or federal governing agency will do) and duck for cover.



2. Do drugs. Reality of collapsing global markets not your cup of tea? Alter that reality! It's good for what ails you.



3. Cover up for the lack of dinner with entertaining subterfuge. Kids love to eat--but what if there's not enough to go around? Magicians use an old trick called "misdirection"--keep their eyes on the dancing potatoes and they'll forget those gnawing hunger pains in no time.



4. When entertaining subterfuge fails, acquire a taste for leather.




5. Smile. Sure, all is lost. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride.