Every Wednesday afternoon, my shrink tells me that I have to blog more often, that my voice "has to be heard." So, I'm listening to her and blogging, again...not because I believe my writing is so brilliant, but because I believe hers is--she's the one who writes the prescription for my antidepressants. (And I call them antidepressants, not "mood-stabilizers," and if I offend some self-righteous, manic-depressives by doing so, so be it.) Without my shrink's keen insight and license to medicate, I might not be in a good enough mood to write a shopping list, let alone a blog.

So much has gone on in the world recently that I don't know where to begin...so many issues, so little time. And since the meds perk me up, but make me scattered, I think I'll just wax poetic (along with my chest) about whatever comes to mind...

Gay Marriage: Why?

This is an issue of zero actual importance to me. At this point in my life, if I get mugged by an overly aggressive gang-banger, I consider it a relationship and hope to see him again, soon.

Hillary and Barack: A Not So Odd Couple

I don't know why everyone is shocked by this...stranger things have happened. Don't forget, Cher fucked Sonny Bono--and not for any political positioning; she actually liked him.

McCain: A Man for All Reasons

Need him to be conservative? He's conservative. Need him to be moderate? He's moderate. He hates Bush. He loves Bush. Hates him. Loves him. She's my sister. She's my daughter. She's my sister and my daughter. John McCain is making it seem as though Hillary Clinton was a bastion of principles.

The Farm Belt is Flooded

Good. Finally, all of those self-righteous, Bible-thumping nitwits who voted for a president who doesn't believe in global warming got what they deserved. Not to worry, I have faith that the upcoming locusts will give them a hand digging out.

Gas Prices & Food: Home, Home on My Range

I live in California. I live 70 miles from L.A. I'm paying $4.79/gallon of gas. I rarely leave my 'hood anymore. (Although I don't know if any area that is 130% white and Republican can be referred to as a 'hood.) In fact, I rarely go anywhere. My friends and I go to each others' homes for dinner and rent movies from Netflix. I shop at Costco and Target. The gas crisis has turned me into more than a homebody...it has turned me into a lesbian soccer mom.

The 2008 Tony Awards: Live, in 1996

Last weekend the Tony Awards show opened with a big production number from The Lion King. Excuse me, this is 2008!! The Lion King has been running for over a decade. This would be like the Yankees actually putting Babe Ruth in their lineup today. Or CBS kicking off their summer season with The Ed Sullivan Show. Or the GOP running a decrepit, hundred -year-old man for president. Oh, wait a minute, they are--Hakuna Matata, everybody!

The Gay Brain: Sing Hallelujah!

Scientists (and by 'scientists' I mean people not from Kansas) have discovered what they believe may be a genetic basis for homosexuality, in a connection between the construction of the brains of women and gay men. If this evidence proves accurate, I expect a REALLY nice note of apology from Pat Robertson, along with maybe some flowers or chocolates.

Hey, George, Drill THIS!

President Bush said that the answer to the out-of-control gas prices is for the U.S. to engage in more offshore drilling. (And by 'U.S.,' I mean, Halliburton.) I guess the thought of having the oil companies take one half of 1% less profit for one quarter never crossed his mind. Not that anything ever has. (dramatic pause as light bulb goes off signaling mock idea.) Hey, wait a minute! I know, why don't we drill into Bush's head??? Maybe we'll find oil; there's got to be something in there.

Tim Russert, Say It Ain't So

I'm questioning my belief in God. Tim Russert died. And Bill O'Reilly didn't.

Wow, that last comment was nasty, even for me. I think it's time to take a break from "having my voice heard," and make a phone call to my shrink, Fraulein Freud. I think she needs to either up my dosage, or switch the meds, from Zoloft to Welbutrin. We'll see how that goes.

Happy Motoring!