Ann Coulter recently promised to campaign for Hillary Clinton if John McCain gets the GOP nomination. Here are some other promises she has up her sleeve:

• Form an alliance with Keith Olbermann, causing space and time to contract to a singularity of infinite density.

• Apologize to John Edwards for calling him a faggot.

• Call John McCain a faggot.

• Campaign for "ragheads" if necessary (see CPAC speech 2006).

• Register johnmccainsactualblog.blogspot.com before McCain can, use for evil.

• Bite McCain with Vampire option on Facebook.

• Learn something from reading a book to use against McCain.

• Buy megaphone, memorize phrase "John McCain has an illegitimate black child," travel country.

• Move to Canada, causing Canada to move to Mexico.