End of the Year 'Know Your Conservative' Quiz Jim David | Bio

How well do you know 2007's conservatives? Take this simple quiz!

1) In addition to hosting a FOX News show, Sean Hannity is also rumored to...

a) Travel to speaking engagements in private jets
b) Covertly work to elect Rudy Giuliani
c) Sexually harass female FOX employees off-camera
d) All of the above

2) The 2008 Republican convention will be held in...

a) Minneapolis, Minnesota
b) Berlin, Germany
c) Ann Coulter's vagina

3) Gov. Mitt Romney's position on gays is...

a) They deserve equal rights
b) They should not be discriminated against but they should not be married or have their unions legalized in any way
c) Who the hell knows?

4) Columnist Ann Coulter's most distinguishing physical characteristic is...

a) Her Adam's apple
b) Her immobile forehead
c) The dents in her cheeks caused by thrusts from Dinesh DiSouza's penis

5) Radio host Rush Limbaugh's last vacation was to...

a) The Dominican Republic to sample local prostitutes
b) A Motel 6 to procure Oxycontin
c) A Dunkin Donuts
d) All of the above

6) The James Bond character who most resembles columnist Michelle Malkin is named...

a) Kissy Suzuki
b) Octopussy
c) Oddjob

7) The last time comedian Dennis Miller was funny was...

a) His stint on SNL's "Weekend Update"
b) His HBO special "Black and White"
c) In the third grade

8) When not writing books or appearing on FOX News, columnist Ann Coulter can be found...

a) At expensive New York restaurants
b) Speaking at colleges for more than $30,000
c) In a hotel room at the CPAC Conference getting gang banged by Young Republicans ala Elizabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas
d) All of the above

9) Actor Chuck Norris is primarily known as...

a) "Walker, Texas Ranger"
b) Promoter of a series of exercise products
c) Sen. Larry Craig's masturbation fantasy

10) Columnist Ann Coulter's nickname behind her back is...

a) Hatchet Face
b) Sea Hag
c) Cum Dumpster

11) Which anti-gay conservative has a gay child?

a) Phyllis Schlafly
b) Dick Cheney
c) Tim and Beverly LaHaye
d) Alan Keyes
e) All of the above

12) After he leaves office, George W. Bush has expressed interest in devoting his time to...

a) Further destroying the family name
b) Golf
c) A corner stool at the saloon in Crawford, Texas

13) An "activist judge" is...

a) A judge who dates Gloria Steinem
b) A judge who rules that gays have the constitutional right to marry
c) A judge who makes decisions that conservatives don't like

14) Gov. Mike Huckabee has stated that he believes...

a) That Jesus is coming back soon
b) That evolution did not happen
c) That Bugs Bunny is a real rabbit

15) To subordinate Andrea Mackris, Bill O'Reilly allegedly said:

a) "I want to take the falafel thing and rub it on your pussy"
b) "I want to get some wine in you"
a) "Come over and we can discuss the World Bank"

16) Columnist Ann Coulter's greatest contribution to mankind is...

b) Exposing the hypocrisies of liberals
c) Her lack of a gag reflex
c) Not having children

ANSWERS: 1) d, 2) a, 3) c, 4) c, 5) d, 6) c, 7) c, 8) d, 9) a, 10) a, 11) e, 12) b,
13) c, 14) b, 15) a, 16) c