WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
Waterskiing on Lake Abu Nidal when I was 7.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?
Dandruff and cocaine.

WHICH LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST ADMIRE?
The person who invented shoe lifts. They've added 3" to my height and gotten me tons of poosay.

WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE IN YOURSELF?
Recognizing Israel.

WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE IN OTHERS?
Recognizing Israel.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

ON WHAT OCCASION DO YOU LIE?
I've definitely laid a couple of real whoppers in front of th UN.

WHAT DO YOU MOST DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE?
My septia logrim. I wish it were shorter.

WHAT LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST DESPISE?
Christo because he is so smug. So you hung a bunch of fabric around a park, big deal. Fuck off.

WHICH WORDS OR PHRASES DO YOU MOST OVER-USE?
"Can I get a rain check on that?"

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST REGRET?
True story: I could've bought Polaroid at $2 a share in 1974. I'm such a knucklehead.

WHAT OR WHO IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF YOUR LIFE?
My dog, Mensa.

WHICH TALENT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO HAVE?
It is a tie between being able to fly and being able to moonwalk like Michael Jackson did on the Motown 30th anniversary special.

WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT STATE OF MIND?
Grounded. The Power of Now has helped.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR FAMILY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I would've had fewer of them shot during the revolution. But what's done is done.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
Ridding Iran of homosexuals. Not a one in the entire place.

IF YOU COULD CHOOSE WHAT TO COME BACK AS, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
The president of the galaxy for eternity.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
Saddam's mustache.

WHAT DO YOU REGARD AS THE LOWEST DEPTH OF MISERY?
Susan Lucci's 19th and 24th Daytime Emmy snub. Total bullroar.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST OBVIOUS CHARACTERISTIC?
Probably wanting to wipe Israel off the map. That tends to precede me wherever I go.

WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU MOST ADMIRE IN A MAN?
His ability to throw a punch.

WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU MOST ADMIRE IN A WOMAN?
Her ability to take a punch.

WHO ARE YOUR REAL-LIFE HEROES?
The girls in the "Two Girls, One cup" video.

WHAT IS IT YOU MOST DISLIKE?
I'm kind of bummed that this questionnaire is coming to an end.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE?
I dunno. But seriously, are you out of questions? I can keep going.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Never let it be said that I didn't appreciate those who can love themselves and in turn love all those around them before, but not after, they realize how fortunate they have been to know me and then smile while doing all that they can to appreciate life, love and diamonds.

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