Dear Readers:

I like you guys. You're my loyal fan base. 13 strong and counting! Keep coming back!!

2008 is going to be a good one, I can feel it. Here's a copy of a letter I'm sending to my folks, Adam and Sheila. It's a chance for you guys to learn more about me and what makes me tick.

Stay gold,

Jawal

Dear Mom and Dad,

First off, I love you guys a lot. You've both worked very hard to keep me in the lifestyle to which I've grown accustomed. Dad, you more than anyone have taught me to appreciate the value of hard work. Day in and day out you've gone to the office (9:00 A.M. - 4:30 P.M.), then the plant (6:00 P.M. - 2:00 A.M.), and finally Costco (2:45 A.M. - 5:00 A.M.) to make my ends meet.

But I feel that there comes a day when every bird must leave the nest. I'm 42, time to face the world on my own! With 2008 around the corner, I've decided to take stock of my life and make some changes. This time it's for real. Forget all those other promises, this time I REALLY MEAN IT.

I went to Saks Fifth Avenue today to load up on New Life supplies. Sitting at the Four Seasons afterwards with my Louis Vuitton notebook, Mont Blanc pen and John Varvatos suit, I started making a list. These aren't resolutions...I hate that word. These are my New Life benchmarks that I'm going to focus on in 2008:

1. Stop describing myself as "intensely smart."

2. No longer complain of toxic loneliness on Saturday nights and Tuesdays.

3. Stop scouring the "Missed Connections" section on Craig's List to see if anyone on the C train this morning thought I was cute.

4. Finish my long-delayed self-help guide, You Are Worth A Shit.

5. Learn to love my size-15 feet.

6. Shower more. At least once a week. (I'm doing this for Grampie!)

7. No more cats.

8. Now that I know what it means, I won't ever again use the saying "two in the pink, one in the stink" at family gatherings. (Mom: I will send another note of apology to Cousin Mark about what happened at the baptism last week. I feel like SUCH an idiot.)

9. No more diamonds.

10. Move out of the house and let you move back in from the garage.

Let me know what you think of them. And please, please, please DON'T tell Teddy I sent you this list. He is always trying to glom on to my ideas.

Hugs!

Jawal