By Monica LeTorte, Home and Garden Columnist for the Lake Mills Leader

Dear Friends,

Apologies for such a late invitation! With this silly writers strike (how rude!), I was unsure if the highlight of the year, my Oscar Night Party, was going to go on. Imagine, that's like canceling Christmas, or Jew Day or Islam Day! I was so worried I was chugging Xanax and Crystal Light like there was no tomorrow! Well, that's what it really felt like, but don't think for a minute that's why they found me with my head on the bottom rack of the oven last month! I fell asleep while cleaning it, I swear! My husband Reggie says I should get the Oscar for Worst F-ing Housekeeper after that! What a kidder! Too bad he can't make the celebration this year. Those late night house painting gigs have been ruining our weekends for toooo long! As always, the whole town is invited--but not to throw eggs at my car or use my garden as a toilet! Boy, you kidders last year sure helped me grow a bumper crop of asparagus! Remember, bring your own chairs--and popcorn! The rest is on me!

Menu

There Will Be Cocktail Weenies

Charlie Wilson's 3 Bean Salad

No Country Fried Steak for Old Men

Into the Wild Salmon Pate

Johnny Taco Depp

Gone Baby Gone Double Fudge Brownies

Atone Mints

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Earl Grey Tea

Javier Open Bar-dem!!