And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from King James, that all the world should eat Turkey. And all went to eat fowl, everyone into his own city. And the Pilgrims also went up from London, out of the country of England, into America, unto the city of Plymouth, which is called Rock, to gorge themselves with Pocahontas, being with bird.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth a succulent Turkey, and wrapped it in buttery swaddling clothes, and laid it in a manger; because there was no room for them in the longhouse. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flocks by night.

And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were afraid. And the angel said unto them, "Fear not: for, behold, I bring you breast meat, which shall be scrumptious to all people. For unto you is cooked this day in the city of Plymouth a Turkey, which is a Butterball. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the bird wrapped in buttery swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, "Glory to cranberry sauce in the highest, and on earth cornbread stuffing, good mashed potatoes toward men." And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another: "Let us now go even unto Plymouth, and see this thing which is to come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us."

And they came with haste, and found Pocahontas and the turkey lying in a manger, watching NFL football. And when they had gorged themselves, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this Turkey. And all that heard it wondered at those candied yams which were told them by the shepherds. But Pocahontas kept all these things, and pondered the giblets in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising Butterball for all the turkey flesh that they had eaten, as it was fed unto them.