After one term of George Bush, everyone was saying there was no way he could win a second term. They said anyone could beat this asshole, so Democrats put that theory to the test when they picked John Kerry to run against him.

And then, like Americans were those abused wives you see on the TV show COPS, they took him back into their little broken arms for a second run. The redneck cries of "He's a good man!" and "You don't know him like we know him!" were heard across the country.

But what's the best way to get back at an abusive ex-boyfriend? That's right. Start dating a black guy.

People are asking if we're ready for a black president. I have been ready for a black president ever since I first listened to Bob Marley. Let' see Harry Truman sing Redemption Song. Not going to happen.

"Are we ready for a black president?" is just another way of saying ""Are we still racist?" And the last time I checked the answer is: kind of.

Some self-identified Christians this week said they did not vote for Barack because he is black. I never understood how people, who claim to worship an all-loving God can be racist. How do those church services go down? Don't they know that Jesus was dark-skinned?

"And then God created all of us...except the blacks. Who let those guys in? Did someone leave the back door open? They're everywhere."

And it''s not just the Bible that's racist. Even The Book of Mormon says that whites are superior to blacks, which conflicts with my belief that everyone is better than the Mormons.

I still don't understand how racism even exists. No matter how ignorant you are, it's almost impossible to hate an entire race of people. There has to be at least one black person you like which would negate hating the whole race.

I don''t care how much you think you hate black people, if you had the chance to hang out with Samuel L. Jackson...who would turn that down?! Mel Gibson is a complete bigot and he did four awesome movies with Danny Glover. I mean, even if the head of the Klan had a chance to make a buddy cop flick with either of those two, he would:

"One cop is from the streets, the other thinks them coloreds wouldn't be on the street if they took personal responsibility...but they both hate one thing: the Russian mob!" Miramax presents: Sheets to the Wind."

So here is a message for all the racists out there: Make Barack Obama your one black guy. If you are racist, chances are you are either:

A. Poor

B. Uninsured, or

C. Undereducated

So you may have to put that bigotry behind ya' old boy, because Obama wants you (well maybe not you, per se, let's just say "your kind") to be insured, well-educated, and not too in debt to pay off your house that's about to be foreclosed on.

This election year, if you really need to hate another color, how about dudes with man-tans? We can all agree that they are fucking gross.

Related: Obama's Short List for VP Leaked to Press

From the News: Obama not ready to cede white, racist vote to Clinton