I.

Todd Palin to Sarah Palin 9:17pm: Stop winking at me. Trying to play PSP.

Sarah to Todd 9:21pm: But I love u. And u love me?

Todd to Sarah 9:23pm: I LOVE NOTHING.

II.

Obama to Biden 9:34pm: Atta boy.

Biden to Obama 9:37pm: Get out of my face

Obama to Biden 9:41pm: What's wrong, Joey-Joe-Joe?

Biden to Obama 9:46pm: I could do what you do, you know. I should be, in fact.

Obama to Biden 9:48pm: Ha, ha. Keep telling urself that.

Biden to Obama 9:52pm: I will rip your lungs out.

III.

Palin to Karl Rove 10:01pm: Tell me sum-thing to say. Please?

Rove to Palin 10:05pm: Say "and after tonight's debate, I will be doing my favorite activity: Chompin' on Karl Rove's Manhood."

Palin to Rove 10:08pm: No.

Rove to Palin 10:12pm: Too bad. It tastes like berries.

Rove to Palin 10:14pm: I call it "The Hamburger Train"

Rove to Palin 10:19pm:Eh?

IV.

Bill Clinton to Hillary 10:10pm: U watching this?

Hillary to Bill 10:12pm: Yes. Biden is lookin' good.

Bill to Hillary 10:18pm: Oh, no. I meant were u watching Count Cockula on Cinemax?

Hillary to Bill 10:21pm: I hate u

Bill to Hillary 10:29pm: The best part is coming up. The vampire's boner has fangs.

Hillary to Bill 10:34pm: Pls stop txting me.

Bill to Hillary 10:41pm: Ok. Stop calling me "husband" in public.

V.

Jim Lehrer to Gwen Ifill 9:27pm: Really? This is all u've got?

Ifiill to Lehrer 9:29pm: Listen, I spent a lot of time picking out this jacket, ok?

Lehrer to Ifill 9:34pm: U look like a pregnant lizard

Ifill to Lehrer 9:41pm: U look like a sad, wingless duck.

Lehrer to Ifill 9:44pm: Tru!

VI.

George W. Bush to McCain 10:12pm: U "tapped" her?

McCain to Bush 10:15pm: Deal with it.

Bush to McCain 10:19pm: Can I?

McCain to Bush 10:22pm: I don't give a fuck.

Bush to McCain 10:26pm: Time to ride the thunder dog!

VII.

Biden to Palin 12:26am: I cried, u know. U could have at least shown sum kind of emotion.

Palin to Biden 12:35am: Look...John McCain is a maverick, OK.

Biden to Palin 12:41am: I....what?

Palin to Biden 12:47am: Your wife is going to heaven?

Biden to Palin 12:51am: Are you going to kill her?

Palin to Biden 12:57am: Yes.

VIII.

Mike Gravel to Entire address book 2:31am: I have also lived in Alaska